Bad Boys vs. Nice Guys
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Bad Boys vs. Nice Guys
| Mon, 02-13-2006 - 12:05pm |
I am a self-proclaimed nice guy. In the past, I was often frustrated by the number of women that say they want a 'nice guy', but always seem to date and/or marry a bad boy. I have a minimal understanding of why so many women are attracted to the 'bad boys'; that is not my question. I am actually more interested in the numbers. How many of you ladies say you want a nice guy, but have actually dated more bad boys than good guys? What's the deal with that???

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I want a nice guy for sure. I only ever dated two "bad boys" - and that was when I was in high school. I guess I got the bad boy thing out of my system.
However, I do think there's a difference between nice guys and pushovers. I want a nice guy who also has an opinion, a spine and self confidence.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I have a very good friend from high school that I still talk to regularly and he was/is a "bad boy." Being friends with him was enough; the appeal of any bad boys never developed for me. Knowing his sexual history (not wanting to know mind you) and how he thinks of/treats women in the long run just doesn't speak well for the "bad boy" population that he is a member. He's a nice guy, funny, fun to be around but terrible with treating women well. A quote from him just the other night (we were talking about women that fake it)..."Well I don't know if any of the chicks I've been with have faked it and I never care if she gets one or doesnt so long as I get mine." Fabulous!! Huge thumbs down.
I've been in a relationship for a year with a very nice guy. Never in a million years would I trade him for the so-called thrill of a bad boy. He's more than good enough for me.
Rubyshoes
I'll be honest and say I want a 'nice guy' and though I've dated both, I find I always have more fun with the 'bad boys'. Why? Because they are more daring, outgoing, confident and exciting. Now I'm not making a generalization that all nice guys are boring, but I've found that some guys are so worried about being nice, ie. polite, gentlemanly, respectful, that they forget to be fun, open, witty, adventurous and sexy.
I'm drawn to guys that make me feel like losing control, doing something wild and crazy or stepping out of my norm. Also, a lot of these so-called bad guys I've dated, also had a nice guy inside, just hidden underneath a bad boy image. That is the hottest to me. The bad boys had a whole lot more going on that made them more appealing. The nice guys were...well, just nice.
My issue with the nice guy syndrome is that nice is ok, but its nothing spectacular. If someone had to describe me in one word and used nice, I'd be disappointed. There is so much more to my personality than that. Call me sassy, outspoken, funny, loving or sensual. But nice to me just doesn't make a strong impression.
Just my thoughts.
I totally agree!
I don't want a "self-proclaimed" nice guy.
Thanks to those that offered their opinions. I didn't actually think I would get such critical views of 'nice guys'. It almost seemed to turn into a 'bad boy' pep rally. :)
While I do claim to be a good guy, I am not going on just my opinion. I thought it might be strange to cite sources and list lots of people who support my opinion. (I could have given references, but that seemed tacky.)
I guess we all have different definitions of nice guys and bad boys. I think my bottom line is respect. I do indeed respect myself, but I also respect others. My word is my word. It is very important to me to be honest with myself and others. I guess there is a second bottom line (or is this the third)? Integrity. Can a nice guy have more than one bottom line??? Maybe I am a bad boy after all. Be careful ladies - I could be trouble!!!
>I want a nice guy who also has an opinion, a spine and self confidence.
EXACTLY!
I hate the Nice Guy Vs Bad Boys debate because it is open misrepresentation.
I agree with what these articles have to say on the issue.
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml
"However, I do think there's a difference between nice guys and pushovers. I want a nice guy who also has an opinion, a spine and self confidence."
This I completely agree with. I've only dated "nice guys", one bad boy recently who was trying to act like a nice guy until I got to know him. I cut off communication shortly after that.
Thrill seeker type guys turn me off completely because eventually and in actuality, there's only one person they really care about pleasing and it's usually themselves. Once the thrill is gone, they're off for something better.
I agree with the previous poster about self proclaimed nice guys. If he says it, I'm much more wary because what most guys say is usually completely different from how they act, in my experience.
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