bad day

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
bad day
15
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 4:25pm
hi guys,
i haven't written here in a while, but i'm finding myself in a very low place today. i'm almost 39 and have been single for a while. i started dating someone a few months ago, but lately i'm finding that everything he does - even his mere presence - annoys me. i feel very discouraged because he is truly a very nice guy who treats me wonderfully. i thought maybe i'd finally broken the *spell* of being drawn to the wrong guys. i know this isn't tragic, it just seems to be hitting me hard for some reason. i haven't felt this depressed in a while. just thought some encouragement/insight from the gang might help :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: peachykeen2005
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 8:49pm

Thanks everyone for your input. It's really helpful to hear your opinions and advice.

My normal reaction is to bolt when I start to feel uncomfortable and I want to work through that, even if he's not the one.

One thing that I realize when I get this down is that I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to find someone and that I need to back off and give myself, and the guy, a break. I also need to stand up for myself and operate within my own comfort level, even if it will disappoint someone else to hear that I'm not in the same place as him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: peachykeen2005
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 2:59pm
You seem to be doing really well neppi. I just have to compliment you on that. You are willing to take a look at yourself and your patterns so that you understand yourself better and even if this guy is not the one, you are willing to stick it out just for a little bit to see if it's because of your fears. But you are willing to stay true to yourself as well. That's great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: peachykeen2005
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 8:55pm

Thanks Bio.
I don't always feel like I'm doing well. this whole thing had me in quite a tailspin. I started feeling that "I'm never going to get this right" feeling. I really want that "when it's right, it's easy" feeling, but I know that I have some issues when it comes to relationships, so I don't always trust what I feel.

How are you doing? I haven't been on the board in a while. Last time I looked, you had a guy you were happy with. Still going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: peachykeen2005
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 12:33am

Sometimes it doesn't feel as if you are doing so well but when you are true yourself even through the rough spots then you are doing well KWIM?

I'm doing really good actually. I'm still with the same guy, been with him for 5 months now and still happy (seems like a record for me to be as happy for so long lol). Things are not perfect either as to be expected for every relationship and I can see some differences between us, but in the process of accepting those differences for what they are. Sometimes I have some doubts too but those doubts pass and then I realize why I'm with him to begin with because he's just a really good guy overall. It's slight ups and downs but not dramatic ups and downs which I think a healthy relationship is supposed to look like from what I hear. You aren't the only one who has doubts ;-)
I think I'm doing well too not just because of the relationship but because I'm starting to see things in a way different light than I have in the past and becoming more optimistic and self confident overall which is a HUGE stride for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
In reply to: peachykeen2005
Wed, 03-28-2007 - 7:44pm

sounds like you're in a good place -- good for you!

things are never perfect, but if you're happy, that's the most important thing. enjoy it!

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