Beautiful people and why are their dating lives just as bad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Beautiful people and why are their dating lives just as bad?
12
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 10:51pm

I have been thinking about this lately.

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
I have a friend who has an MBA from Vanderbilt University, is strikingly gorgeous, runs five miles daily, and she has the perfect personality to match everything else. She always attracts a$$hole$. She seems to catch on to their a$$-hole-ness quite quickly but then continues to date them(and she isn't a push-over). She's four years younger which, would make her 35 or 6 and is still single. Another friend of mine and I were discussing it a few weeks back. I tend to think she's just not ready to accept the real thing. For some reason, she's still playing with boys instead of men. She'll eventually come to her senses. I know she knows her worth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

YES! And vice versa - I've seen unattractive men who act like they've got it going on and attract the girls; and decent looking guys who act shy or insecure who do not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

so you are saying a gorgeous person can like an ugly person and visa versa? I agree.

I have dated and been with gorgeous men and not so good looking men. It is all in the chemistry and mutual attraction.

I am not beauty queen but sometimes I will attract a very good looking guy and the guy will say its that I exude confidence and an aura about me that goes beyond physical..Men can also smell insecure women and women with low self esteem and self awareness. I have seen it with my friends..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

I think this post is a little nutty, frankly.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
There is dating and there is co-creating a relationship. I see those two things as vastly different. I see dating as "playing" together where there is attraction and sharing common activities. Being good looking certainly is a key in attracting a dating partner.

Having a relationship is entirely different than dating in my opinion. This goes beyond attraction and chemistry and liking the same activities.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

I think if one is beautiful the first attraction would be just seeing the outside appearance and then what is really on the inside of a person??

Also look at the gorgeous models and movie stars that Trenner was talking about? They get divorced alot and they pick bad men..I have heard that is all about self esteem. I mean if Halle Berry can get cheated on do we regular people have a chance?

I do think maybe being beautiful can be a curse.. You dont know if the opposite sex wants you for you or the way you look.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001

I wouldn't have married the guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I always had that same kind of feeling about men, that if I dated someone who was too good looking, he wouldn't put much effort into the relationship because it would be too easy to get a replacement, where an average looking guy might be grateful and relieved that he finally found someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Do you really think your friend is lucky to be married to a possessive jealous man?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

I have a long-time friend who was very attractive when she was younger. She was never without a boyfriend since the age of 15. It was so easy for her: if things didn't work out, she knew another one would be along, and indeed she sometimes had them already lined up. However, she divorced her first husband after only a year (she met another man while still married to the first, but that didn't work out), and now she's married again, but is not happy, but is staying put. I think in her case, her personality is one of "grass is always greener" and she hates locking into a decision. Being beautiful enabled her to cut and run when she became unhappy.

I also think a beautiful woman enjoys the power and excitement of being able to attract men, sometimes to the exclusion of developing good relationship skills, or any other skills for that matter. I think they are often too focused on men/sex/status/appearance. I also think it's a brutal wake-up call for beautiful women when they lose their looks to aging: they can now experience what it's like to not turn heads when they walk in the room.

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