Being single & finances
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Being single & finances
| Wed, 10-03-2007 - 2:51pm |
I am new posting to this board, but have read for awhile. I am 50 years old, have never been married and do not have children. I didn't choose to not be married, it simple never happened for me. I am a very social person with good friends,many of whom are male. I did meet Mr. Right once, but the timing was off and it didn't end up working out. I have a job that I love, but it is in higher education, so I don't make much money. I own a home, mainly because I have a couple dogs (furkids) and where I live you can't find something to rent with animals. I read some of these posts about everyone doing all this fun stuff, traveling, etc. and I wonder, how do you afford it??? I have to work two jobs just to make it month to month. I have always worked two jobs...so I either don't have time to do things because I'm working, I can't afford it,or I'm just too tired! I don't have any problem being home, and I love a good saturday night by myself with a good book, but it does get frustrating when I think that my whole life is spent working just to keep my head at the water line!!! I feel like it would be nice to have someone to share the financial worries with or just to go out to eat with! Most of my friends are married and have kids or they don't live in the same town. So, I don't mind being single, I'm used to that by now, but it is difficult at times to be single. I guess lots of married people would say that it is difficult at times to be married as well!!! Thanks for listening...

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Totally agree. When I was first married to my exhusband, my ex and I both worked he was just an e4 in the military not making much and I was making 11 bucks an hour at the post office. For entertainment we went on base for movies, he got in free and I had to pay 3 bucks. We also had people over to play cards or board games that was our "entertainment" or we would get passes to go see the San Diego Padres because we could get passes on base for cheaper, I mean you could see the Padres play for 35 bucks for two tickets on the third base line on a friday night, a parking pass, two hot dogs, two drinks. It was a great deal and we liked baseball try to get that at FENWAY....good luck!
We had friends that he worked with, the guy was lower then him in pay scale, she didn't work, they had higher rent then us and yet they ate out EVERY NIGHT and went out every weekend, they'd go to the movies (OFF BASE), bowling, she'd be out shopping all day. And then she'd complain to me about how they were so poor. I'm like A) get a freaking job she was 1/2 mile away from Target she could have worked there instead of sitting on her butt all day they didn't have any kids. and B) try cooking instead of eating at Arby's every night.
Then when they moved home she was talking about opening up credit cards at furniture stores and buying furniture and then filing for bankruptcy I told her you do know they will just come get their furniture right? THEY WILL?? DUH!!!!! I was like seriously why should ANY OF US pay for your bankruptcy because you are lazy. It infuriated me, she was so lazy.
Smile,
Deirdre
I think many of us out here can empathize I would hazard a guess that 60-80% of the posters here are probably middle income providers and are probably roughly in the same boat.
What most of the people here are saying is the ones going on lots of trips are the ones probably living well above their means or living a lot on credit cards.
I know when I was first divorced, I had a 525 rent, a 160 dollar a month car payment which I had refinanced to lower it to that, it was 260 and there were some months I HAD to use my credit card because I had 0 dollars and it was either don't go to work for a week because I had no gas or use the credit card so I could work to get my next paycheck, or sometimes I'd have to use it for groceries and people would say "Oh don't use your credit card for incidentals" well what the heck do you want me to do go to work with dirty hair??" because I gotta tell ya I'm making 9.25 an hour and after the rent, car payment, car insurance etc. there isn't much left. I didn't have cable, I didn't do much of anything. So it was tight for quite a while now I'm still digging myself out.
I don't think anyone is saying you are living beyond your means, but I think they are saying the people you are comparing your situations too may be living beyond theirs and you just don't know it. They say that the people of today live so far beyond their means and live so far on credit its horrendous.
Smile,
Deirdre
'..However, on the flip side, being single has an advantage.
Well you don't HAVE to have joint accounts just because you are married. My friend doesn't really. Her and her husband have one "joint" account. It's the house account. They agreed upon a % from each of their checks to put in the house account every paycheck to cover household bills (ie. groceries, mortgage, oil, electric, cable) Everything else goes into their seperate accounts to do with what they like, she pays her car payment from her money, he pays his car payment seperately. They don't have combined credit cards they each pay their own credit card bills etc.
If something breaks in the house like the hot water heater and there isn't enough in the "house fund" then they each contribute 50/50 from their own accounts. It works beautifully.
Its not written in stone that just because you are married you must now report to each other where every penny goes at all times and you have to have joint accounts.
Smile,
Deirdre
>> I spend about $50.00 a month on books <<
Are you in school and buying textbooks? If not, you could definitely save the $50 to use for something else by hitting the library instead. I have also stopped renting $5 movies - I rent the ones from those $1-a-day red boxes at the grocery store or I just watch the ones on TV.
I also want to echo what a PP said about not meaning to imply that you are living above your means at all -- but many people who seem to have everything (every material thing, that is, plus vacations, etc.) are living above their means.
Believe me, I empathize. I live comfortably, but definitely don't have the money to do everything I want. Like others have said, I am very careful about how often I go out, what I buy, etc. It's a necessity for me to have a pretty strict budget. I even save my change in a coffee can for those really tight months -- like when the car goes kaput and you have a $400 repair
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I don't want to sound mean or anything so please don't take this as
I have to agree with this opinion.
I think it is really unfair to say someone is going to be single forever because she loves her dog(s). We all have different priorities in life, and it's not fair to judge someone else so harshly whose priorities may differ from your own.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
You are absolutely right. And I would only say in THIS case, its the one exception.
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