being single sucks.....

Avatar for single_chick18
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
being single sucks.....
4
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 10:31pm
Hi. I have been single for a little over three years now and I have been miserable almost the entire time. I am obsessed about getting a boyfriend. I don't know how to be happy just being me. I don't feel complete. How can I be happy again?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 10:53pm
It's not so bad if you rethink your attitude about it. At your age, I was a little obsessed with my boyfriend, and didn't really spend time having fun like I should have. High school is a time to enjoy having the freedom of very little responsibility. Why would you want to add a man to that? They just add more responsibility! Sure, if you find the perfect guy, all will be well, but what's the chance of that happening now?

I haven't had a serious boyfriend since 1998. I've dated guys for short periods of time, but nothing that has really developed. I have learned SO much about myself when I have to spend time alone. I can come and go as I like, eat whatever I like, have hairy legs if I want to, and flirt with whomever I want. There are so many perks to being single, don't focus on the negative ones!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:09am
how old are you?

don't take the wrong way, but you sound a little young.

it's important that you learn to be happy as a single before entering into a relationship. otherwise, you'd be setting yourself up to be overly dependant on a man - and this can easily lead to disaster.

what do you miss most about being in a relationship that you cannot achieve while being single?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 11:28am
You truly have to find happiness within yourself, another person does not make you complete...only YOU can do that. I have been single for a long time myself, and I am a lot older then you. At 18 I wouldn't even come close to stressing out about it.....you have SO much time. True, its nice to have a boyfriend, someone you are truly compatable with, but you do not need one to be a happy person. And just remember, the more you want something, ironically, the more it seems to elude you. You will find a boyfriend at a time in your life when you are the most ready for it, and the least expecting it....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 11:47am
What do you like to do - what makes you happy - how can you possibly think that a man is going to find you desirable and interesting if you think you are boring and miserable on your own. Obsession comes across as neediness which for me is one of the biggest turn offs in a man - what is a turn on is a man who is confident, has his own friends, interests, opinions - and chooses me to be a part of that already complete life. Get out there and exercise, do volunteer work, participate in community theater, etc.