Being single
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| Sat, 07-28-2007 - 4:15pm |
A lot of you complain about being single and all. It really does stink. But is your situation as bad as mine? Maybe this will make you feel better.
I have two friends that I enjoy being around but rarely get together with and they both have significant others and smoke. I don't smoke. I have two friends that are single and do not smoke. One is retired (I am not even close to retiring) and she is very particular about things. I am laid back about things (except about being single) so she gets on my nerves. Other than that she and I like to do things and go places. My other friend that doesn't smoke is my age but she can be very outspoken so I don't really enjoy being around her too much. My family lives hours away. The way I look at it, I virtually have no one. On rare occasions I see my family - once a month if I am lucky. I was married for several years but am now single. It's annoying to not have someone around most of the time to talk to when i need to and someone to talk to me when they need to. Anyway, I could go on and on about that.
How many of you have no one to go to even if you wanted to? How many of you live near your families? If your family lives close by, how often do you see them?
I'm sorry, I'm just feeling sorry for myself as I often do when I am home alone. I have a guy that I hang around with because I feel I have no one else. Except he is in love with me. I only like him as a friend. SO I probably should not be hanging around with him but I don't know what else to do. My life would TOTALLY be miserable without him.
Sorry, I just needed to vent, I guess. Thanks for listening.

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When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
It's been 5 years since my last relationship. After that I saw I had few friends. I told a therapist I did everything on my list of what I wanted to do in life, I just wanted a man to love. She said," make a new list. I want 10 things new for next week. " I follow directions (:- )
since then I have made an effort to make new friends. Some have come and gone. Some find mates and disappear. I leave the doors open because people are not perfect and more miracles happen with love and forgiveness. My man FRIEND of 15 years is in a relationship now, so he has disappeared but returns. I don't leave people when dating someone, but I have to accept others for what they can handle in their lives.
I keep calling and nurturing people, unless there is no interest on the other side. My friends are not all close by. I have a gal from Maine that comes here once a month for a week-end and we go out to play, I have a nurse practitioner friend from Boston that goes out with me once in a while. I can call my cousin if I need to talk about an issue or my friend from Maine.
My relatives are mostly on the other side. Of my many cousins, i am close to one. A dear friend of mine is hooked up with a cousin so she is like family and I can talk to her. My 3 sons are: one in seattle, one 1/2 hour from me with 2 kids and the other in Boston. They are not here to fill in my empty times, but to share life and love at times.
I have made my home very inviting to myself, got 2 kittens 2 years ago, that are wonderful company and need me, have developed a relationship with neighbors, we help each other, I am in a book club, meeting women in a work out place ( for women) set up like a spa, I love it there. I am starting a business as an RN life coach for people in transition.
I am 68, have a date to look forward to this week with a man who was a homicidal detective and is teaching spirituality and helping addicts in a jail. Interesting guy. So, it is one foot in front of the other, living IN the MOMENT. When we are in the moment, all is usually fine. Feel the lonely feelings and then say a prayer, have faith and do something fun, think of the advantages of being alone.
I could write a book about my dates, and maybe will someday. Thank God I am not married to any of them. (:- )
Leila
Leila
You sound like an awesome woman. What an inspiration. I think it's often thru hard times we grow and learn to love more...which is exactly what you have decided to do. I know being single and alone much of my life has made me reach out and be more inclusive of others. I applaud you. I imagine you would be a great catch for many men. But above all, you are your own gift.
Funbiz
Don't ever feel you are a bummer. We must be allowed to be ourselves on this board at all times! I am sure all the gals on this board would agree to this.
Please don't give up. It seems to me that you just need more love in your life. There is NO REASON you should not have it. None. Don't blame yourself for anything. When I am really down, I just reach for peace. I don't try for anything else but peace.
Lots of people feel like you. There is this one woman I've been chatting with online. She is around our age and was feeling depressed. She got out of it. She suggested a couple of books. First one "Boundless Healing". In it there are loving kindness meditations to bump up the love and compassion for yourself. The other books are Sanay Roman's books. She said she everyday did the loving kindness meditation and journaled. Now she is in a place of empowerment...not only with a man who dumped her (and she later didn't even want him because she had a new sense of respect for herself) but a career, too.
Above all remember you are not alone and you are not "bad" or "wrong" for feeling this way.
Soliel
I agree with you about the Master's stuff.
I updated my profile, that was an old one!
Leila, it was a pleasure to read your posts.
Soliel
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