Being taken care of

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Being taken care of
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 10:45am

I've never been one to be looking for someone to take care of me, but this Christmas might have changed my mind.  I was home, at my mom's house. My stepdad has always been the absent type until my baby sister moved n with the baby. After that, he started staying home, babysitting, taking care of things around the house, etc. It was a nice change to see in him. He was even upset because Walmart didn't have any cute baby dolls he could buy her for Christmas. 

So on Christmas Day, it was forecasted that we were going to get snow. Lots of snow. He insisted that he was driving to my sister's (an hour south, where they were getting even more snow). I always have to drive, so it was really niece not to have to. I kept thinking...this is a lot of gas I'm saving! Then on the way back, we stopped at a gas station to get something to drink.  He went in and got everything for us. No piling out of the truck for me!  I know they're small things, but it was so nice. He also loaded and unloaded the truck. No jumping in and out of the bed in the freezing cold for me!  

I'm definitely rethinking the take care of me thing now. 

I had to edit to add the second half bc I couldn't type past the middle of the text box!  Autocorrect is also going nuts today for some reason. Plus there's a delay. Grrr...gremlins are messing with us again! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 11:27am


I know that is a good feeling.. I look at it like a two way street.. Each partner takes the responsibility of caring for the other.

My example for now is that last week my car died on the street.. Good luck was it died right in front of a gas station so i was able to just get into the gas station and the mechanic was still there. The bad part was how was I going to get home which was about half hour away. Either call a cab or what?? So I called my sis';s boyfriend and he came to pick me up.. that was n ice.

The next day when I had to go and get my car back from being repaired my guy friend took me otherwise I would have had to take a cab at 60.00 one way..

So I know what you mean and its times like these we all need someone..

take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 4:07pm

Yes it would be nice to have someone to help out on occasion.  I can't say that my ex was always the most helpful on everything but at least there is another person around--he could do the heavy lifting or do some chores around the house, or he was definitely more mechanically inclined than I was when it came to something like fixing the toilet.  It's really nice to have someone drive too--once last summer I went out at night w/ my friend & her BF and he drove--we were coming home late at night & I was just relaxing in the back seat while he had the convertible top down, listening to his music.  When I go out with friends we take turns driving, but when  you go out at night w/ a man along, it does feel safer too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Fri, 12-28-2012 - 9:46pm
I'm not even sure that's really "being taken care of" but more like wanting someone who is considerate and willing to sometimes go out of their way for you. I figured all guys were like that because the men in my family are, but boy did I learn I was wrong when I started dating. Then I come across a guy like that and I'm thinking great will you be my husband? Lol I don't say that out loud or anything, but thinking it doesn't hurt. Of course those are always the guys who don't want anything serious. *sigh*
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 11:48am
Regardless of what you call it, it's nice to have someone who actually does things instead of always having to do them myself. I'm always the one who takes care of things in my family. Even my dad wasn't always willing to help me when I needed it. It was just kind of a weird Christmas visit. Even my sister, who wants everyone to do everything for her, bought food and made dinner for us. Then my stepdad did the dishes. Usually, I buy, cook, and clean up. The next night, my stepdad made dinner for us and I did the dishes. Once for lunch, my sister was picking up some food from a restaurant and asked if I wanted any. She wasn't even going to let me pay her for it. It was all just...weird. Far less stressful than always being the one responsible for everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 1:10pm

I can tell you that it's an interesting experience when you have kids and they grow up & start doing things for you.  Like this summer when I visited my DD, my DS & I flew in & didn't have a car--we stayed in a hotel, so she had to pick us up & drive us everywhere and she decided where we would go to eat & stuff like that.  I expected to pay for all our meals, but she actually paid for some too--that was a nice change.  Of course she makes a very good salary too, but it was still nice that she offered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
Sun, 12-30-2012 - 1:01pm

I am starting to miss the little things too.  Even a simple, "How was your day?"  or someone else that has an idea for dinner.  Don't get me wrong...if I call and ask, my kids would do most anything for me.  Add in the bigger things like shoveling, salting, mowing, mulching or the middling things like cooking a dinner for me or doing the dishes with out a second thought... down to the most basic hug or kiss or cuddle at night.

Yep, finally starting to REALLY miss being part of a couple.  And gee, it only took me 5yrs or so!

(but if I overthink it and include all the possible negative stuff...well, guess I will just keep shoveling, salting, cooking all on my own!)