Best phrase to let a man down easy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Best phrase to let a man down easy?
14
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 4:26pm

Best phrase to let a man down easy?



  • I'm sorry, it's just not working
  • You are a great guy, but it doesn't feel right
  • I'd love to be your friend
  • I've had a great time with you, but you're not the one for me
  • I've decided to get back together with my ex
  • I have decided to take a break from dating
  • We are just not a good match
  • You are a loser and I'm outta here
  • None of the above - it's not possible to let someone down easy


You will not be able to change your vote.


AJ, enjoying life with C.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 5:43pm

I don't think there's any "one size fits all" phrase. It really depends on the circumstances...have you been on one date, or having you been involved for a year, for example?

But the one thing you don't want to do, IMO, is lie. Be tactful, but truthful. If you're really not taking a break from dating or getting back together with your ex, don't say that you are. Lies have a way of coming back to bite you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2005
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 9:28pm

Well, from a guy's perspective, I'd just tell you to be honest. Getting dumped sucks, but if you tell a lie that gets back to him it's going to suck worse, and you look like a real b***h. If there's something in particular that the guy did that turned you off, tell him about it, so he will not do it in future relationships. It’s probably going to be a brutal conversation, but it’s for the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 10:03pm

My current favorite kick butt female is Lisa Marie Presley and her new song "Idiot." Now this is harsh, not to be used on a one time dude, but that jerk that really broke your heart....

Idiot

Please remember me forever
Believe in me as someone
Who's never gonna wish you well

I'm gonna tell you what I think about you in that unforgivable way I do
You're an idiot
And I hate your guts
I guess I'm about as happy for you as I would be a cockroach in my food
I know it's terrible
I really hate you though

Do you have your fairytale life
Or are you dancing to the white trash
Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who's never gonna wish you well

I heard the thing that you hate about me almost everyday, but you still wouldn't leave
I had to love
Ooh, I hated your guts
And I heard the opposite of love isn't hate
It's indifference
But I can't relate
It's not good enough
Cuz I hate your guts

Did you sell your mediocre mind
You had to find out why you're better off with broader

CHORUS
Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who's never gonna wish you well
Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who wants you to go to hell

You're in me, you're boring
Oh, did you hear me snoring?
I don't mutilate myself when I talk to you
So tell me how did I hope you could tell that I'm no one's pearl
You can have em, go to hell
You're gonna die on us
They're gonna hate your guts

Just tell the guy it isn't working out and you don't see a long term relationship with him. No matter what you do, it will suck and be painful for both. Its not easy to be the dumper or the dumpee.

Rubyshoes

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 11:17pm

I've never heard that song, but it sounds hilarious.


One plus to wearing my emotions right on my face:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 11:32pm

I heart Yahoo! Videos ;)

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 4:02am

I agree with "it's not possible to let someone down easy". These are the best out of the given choices:

In Order:

-I'm sorry, it's just not working
-We are just not a good match

Saying things like "Nice Guy, Great Guy, Friends, Make another woman real happy" are INSULTING. You wouldn't say this and then break up. This is why men think nice Guys run last. "I'd love to be your friend" is possibly the WORST way to let a man down, he would prefer to hear "You are a loser and I'm outta here".

Think about it:

You say: "You are a great guy, but it doesn't feel right"
He asks: "Why doesn't it feel right?"

You will end up digging yourself into hole so deep you will eventually scream "YOU ARE A LOSER AND I'M OUTTA HERE"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 8:42am

I highly doubt I'd ever say this to a guy (unless you guys on here think it's okay), but is it ever okay to say, "I'm sorry, but the chemistry just isn't there for me"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 12:16pm

Stacey,

I don't think anyone has managed to end a relationship using only one sentence. I have never managed to do it. If the person being dumped thought things were going well they will want a full explanation. Regardless of how “nice” you make the explanation sound they still become resentful.

>but is it ever okay to say, "I'm sorry, but
>the chemistry just isn't there for me"?

Sure....as long as you never say it to me ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 1:52pm
Just out of curiosity, hal, what would you reccommend for a "dumping line"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 2:36pm

Stacey,

>what would you reccommend for a "dumping line"?

That's almost like asking, "What would I recommend as a present for someone?"

So many different people and personalities it's impossible to answer.

IMHO:I think honesty is the best policy as long as you are sensitive with your delivery. One thing I know is most men HATE hearing; “You are a guy” just before they get dumped. Don’t say this even if you think it’s true because it only perpetuates the belief that nice guys run last. Most men would rather be called an “irresistibly handsome bastard” than a nice guy.

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