Best way of breaking up

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Best way of breaking up
45
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 6:17pm

I see that a theme in one of the discussions is how guys and gals break up.
So I am curious if there is such a thing as a "good" breakup process, i.e. is there a good way of breaking up? and if so, have you either done it that way or had that done to you?

For me, my intention is that it should NOT be a surprise to the other person when that happens. I think that is the hardest part... expressing doubts, fears about the relationship BEFORE the final announcement. I hope to be able to discuss before anything like that happens.

Views? Experiences?

Mark

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 5:56pm

I wish he would have been straight up sooner & never contacted me. I don't mean to generalize with men & compartmentalize...it's just my experience. It all depends on what type of relationship people have. He had lots of female friens & I wasn't going to be another one.

Please don't group us all together by saying "your sisters". Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

There are times I wish I was a man because it just doesn't seem that getting hurt doesnt hurt them as much.

JSTBU

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 5:58pm

I just reread my post. I need to remember not to get sucked into other people's feelings. It's not healthy for me. Thank you for replying. I'm just starting to date again. I did not get involved with anyone while separated. I felt I needed time to heal. I knew if I tried to date I would end up in the same boat different person. I am enjoying life now. I can tell I am making progress b/c I have formed friendships with many women since my separation, something I seemed to struggle with while married. It was not b/c I was married but my attitude while married that made all relationships difficult.

Have you read the Tao of Pooh or anything on Taoism? It's a great intro to Taoism. I find the teachings help me to regain peace and understanding when I am confronted with chaos. I no longer wish to live my life surrounded by drama something I used to unconsciously seek out. I am not perfect and still make mistakes but I am growing. I am looking forward to meeting men who are "kinder, healthier and more spiritual" in nature.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 6:14pm

Sorry Sheri..., no comprende'

That just all seems too complicated to me; mindreading (I'm not the Great Adrastostini, or Great and Powerful Oz)..., what if..., and believe me this is perfecly hypothetical..., that this woman was hurt and wanted to talk to me, wanted to yell at me..., what if she didn't want to give me the satisfation of calling me, even if to rip me a new aZZhole?..., what if she were thinking that, and wishing I would call so she could let me have it...,

..., there are 6 billion people in this world so I'll take a guess at the statistics (unless jules can help me out) that that means 3 billion women..., each one of those reacting to that situation differently...,

Do me a favor Shari..., if we've had this great sexual relationship and you dump me for someone else..., please call me back three weeks later because I'll definitely want to have a last few parting words and it will make me feel much better...., seriously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 6:25pm

I wasn't really grouping all the women together, that would certainly be impossible...,

..., I was just being sarcastic. It's not like anyone has ever said "all men" or "your brothers" or the like to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Sat, 12-24-2005 - 12:08am

Ok.

Try not to be too hard on Sheri or others here. This post could go on forever.
If people have iszsues they should email each other directly...instead of slamming each other here.

"There ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy"..

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