Best Way To Start Over..

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Best Way To Start Over..
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Mon, 06-26-2006 - 4:50pm

Somebody please refresh my memory. I work in advertising and going to school for my masters in counseling. So what is the best way to start over. career wise? I want to get a job more related to what I am going to school for, but how do I go about that?? How do I figure out if there are any head hunters in the area? I don't know why I am at a loss. Probably because I have not had to start over since I graduated from college.

Anyone know of any good social service head hunters??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 10:53am
I am getting my masters degree in clinical counseling and I have a psychology undergraduate degree. Psychologists need a PH.D.. The term therapist is not regulated so anyone can call themselves a therapist without any degree, so it really does not mean anything.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:20pm

I talked with a friend of mine who was married to a therapist for about 12 or so years. They went to a workshop on relationships by David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage : Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships . The light bulb went on when Schnarch ask the attendees to show who are the therapists among them. The majority raised their hands. He then told them that they need to know that they are 50% of the problem. This apparently shocked them. My friend started to let his then wife know whenever she tried to therapise (is that a word?) him that she needs to own her half.

I met this woman off match where she had to go into therapy as the result of her relationship to a therapist! He picked her apart creating a lot of trauma.

I felt that the therapists are in that field is because they have a lot of sh*t that they needed to work through and they do not admit that they are not done (never done actually... for us all).

Funny how you attract those who need counseling.. LOL.. but then again don't we all?

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:28am

I am sorry your experiences have been so bad! That is really terrible to hear.

With my experience, I don't find the people I have met int he field and the people in my program have issues to deal with themselves. What you might be seeing is that therapists are MORE LIKELY to be open to therapy, so therefore, they are more apt to go. That could be the main reason that 50% of the relationship workshop was counselors. Plus all licensed clinical counselors need to put conference time in each year to keep their licenses updated. It is just the nature of the business.

IMO, life is hard and everyone at some point in time could benefit from therapy. But I would hesitate to say that all therapist have issues they need to work out themselves. That is not only not true, but most schools would hesitate even give a masters to somebody who have mental or personal issues that interfer with their career and lives. That is the number one thing they taught us in our 401 class, that if you have your own problems, they suggested working them through BEFORE considering going into the field, because a counselor could find themselves in a malpractice law suit real fast.

"My friend started to let his then wife know whenever she tried to therapise (is that a word?) him that she needs to own her half."

I agree with this statement, but find this to be more of a character flaw more then anything else.

What I am trying to say here, is yes, being a psychologist or counselor changes them. How could listening and helping people with traumatic lives not? But that does not mean immediatly that the counselors all have their own problems they need to work out and less of an evolved person? No, it doesn't. You unfortunately have met some unfortunate people that have clouded your judgement. Don't you find it a little hyper-critical that you now assume that all counselors have personal problems, when you say that you, yourself are self aware?

I wish I could introduce you to the students, professors, and professionals that I have met and you would have a better opinion about this industry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:51am

>>So my delema right now is to continue to work full time ( which I do as I take classes) in a more related field. So adding an internship along with working and classes won't work.<<

So, you probably need to find a job where you're working with people in some way -- a nursing home, a school, day care, etc. The problem there is the entry-level jobs tend to not pay very well. Otherwise, what about marketing for a nonprofit that deals with mental health or human services? That would give you some good connections in the field.

Your school should have a career counseling office. I'd talk to them to see what you can do.

Finally, I do highly recommend networking. As Mark (I think it was Mark) suggested, look for networking groups that relate to your field. If you can go to a networking event one evening a month, that can help expand your connections and lead you to someone who might eventually want to give you a job.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:00pm

Oh kcol68,
Please don't interpret my posting as me painting a picture that I think that ALL therapists are bad. I do think that this profession attracts people with who have their own issues to work out. I also know for myself that I do come with an expectation that since they are therapists then they should be more "together." I now know that expectations are premeditated resentments.

I also know that any close relationships bring up "stuff" within ourselves and therapists are no exception. I don't care how much work people have done on themselves, there is always more.. it just goes deeper. I believe that the closer the relationship, the deeper our core issues can get touched and triggered. I seek to connect with people who own that stuff is THEIR issue for then we can both grow and learn in safety rather than blame.

Hyper-critical AND hypocritical too? I am just cautious from my and others' experiences and observations. I value the role therapists play and acknowledge their worth as human beings for they are committed in helping others.

Now YOU kcol68, I'm sure we can have a great conversation and more *grin* (j/k)

Thanks for your thoughtful reply
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:09pm

Now YOU kcol68, I'm sure we can have a great conversation and more *grin* (j/k)

Well it does relieve me to know that you don't think that I HAVE issues. myself since I am in the field. The exception of your dating experiences!! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:12pm

"So, you probably need to find a job where you're working with people in some way -- a nursing home, a school, day care, etc. "

This is what I am trying to do, but need a refresher on how to get started :)

Thanks for the suggestions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 8:41pm

I briefly considered Marriage and Family therapy as my field of study...but changed my mind completely when I learned that most of those therapists do not generally have very successful marriages themselves. I NEVER want my field to influence my personal relationship with my SO or my children. I hope and strive to approach my relationship as a human being, wife and mother and not a therapist or psychologist.

Of course, thats how I think of everything when it comes to work and personal life...everything is seperate. Its not always easy, but I find its much better.

Ruby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 8:53pm

I also know for myself that I do come with an expectation that since they are therapists then they should be more "together." I now know that expectations are premeditated resentments.

You are right, therapists should have it more "together" as it is part of our ethical code. And yet, we have the same issues as everybody else and are not above having problems. We as therapists have to recognize and deal with the issues as they arise so they do not hurt first creed of therapy and psychology--DO NO HARM. Because of this, we are regularly encouraged to go into therapy and most therapists do have their own therapist. Not only to work on countertransference issues and personal issues but also to understand what the patient is experiencing when they are in therapy. I'm paraphrasing what Gerald Corey once said about therapy for therapists--If psychotherapists do not confront, recognize and deal with their own issues, they often succumb to greater psychological void and despair than their patients.

I'm not saying this is how you are Mark, but it bothers me when people assume that therapists should be perfect. We arent and I think the fact that we arent, makes us more human and accessible to our patients. Doctors have all the tools in the world to be healthy and yet they experience sickness and health problems just as much as the regular joe. Same thing is applied to people in psychology and social work.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:02pm

KCol
I would say that nonprofit organizations are a bad route to go if you want to get paid. I worked for a nonprofit for a year and it was VERY difficult to get a good wage or get hours. Some of them work on strict budgets where they can only allocate so many hours to their employees. Getting a full time job, unless you are a director or supervisor or some other high up, is quite difficult. At least that has been my experience.

I like the idea of working for the city or govt. Definitely a more steady wage and hours of work.

Good luck!!

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