Birthday party and Wedding

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Birthday party and Wedding
16
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 3:02pm
This weekend I have to go to a friend's birthday party, which would be fine, except all my single friends can't go, so only my couply friends will be there. And yesterday I got a wedding invitation that was "and guest." I know the people who are going to this wedding, and again, I will be the only single person there (and no, there won't be any single guys there from the groom's side). Honestly I think the thing I hate most about being 100% single my whole life is the consistently showing up at every single function I've ever been at without a date. It's not like a huge deal, but it's been wearing on me lately, to the point that I hardly want to go. It's like everytime I get an invite to something, I get kind of an underlying sick feeling in my stomach. And again, it's like I'm fine with being single, but it's the PERPETUAL singleness that is starting to get really embarassing.

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 4:11pm
Buggie, you need to read cl-shyon's post, "It's summertime". You will find that you are not alone. Yeah, it kinda stinks sometimes but hey, you WILL NOT be the only single person at the wedding, trust me! Unless, it's a teeny-tiney wedding with very few guests. I always go to those sorts of things with the same mindset but, thinking like that is not realistic. You should go and live it up! That's why we are all here, right? To have a good time! You never know, you could meet Mr. Right or, Mr. Right Now?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 4:48pm
well, I actually will be the only at this wedding. the bride and groom don't have many friends, the wedding will be mostly older family and a few people I know as well- who are coupled. and it won't be a live it up type of event, it will be more stuffy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 7:11pm

Hi there Buggie!

I went to a wedding this past weekend, and it turns out, I had a nice time. But I can totally relate to how you feel about going to everything as a "single". I'm gonna go check out that Summertime post. Keep us posted, and I hope it goes well for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 9:19am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 9:34am

I'm sorry but it is embarrassing. It wouldn't be if *sometimes* or even *once* I showed up with a boyfriend, but when I go these things perpetually single, I have to wonder what people are thinking of me. I know they feel bad for me, even if I don't feel bad for myself, because they see it as a big deal, and that pisses me off. I even have relatives who think I am a lesbian, and to them, that's not a good thing, that's having something "wrong with me" (they're old). I also hate when you go somewhere and there are people you haven't seen for a long time, and they have a b/f and you don't and you just *know* that are gloating about it.

You know I used to be like best friends with this one guy and we sort of lost touch and I hadn't seen him for over 4 years. So we ran into each other at a concert and then spent a while catching up afterwards. Anyway, we were talking about people getting married and love life and stuff, and I said that I still had haven't had a boyfriend. The look on his face...he goes, "still???" like he just couldn't believe it. I'm used to it, but when you get that reaction from someone who has never heard of anything like this...it's sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 10:51am

"I know they feel bad for me, even if I don't feel bad for myself, "....


Exactly what evolutionary feat occured that gives you the ability to tell exactly what people are feeling?


You worry WAY WAY WAY too much about what other people think of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 11:48am
have you ever seen a person's reaction when you tell them you have never had a boyfriend? Well I have, that's how I know what they are thinking. One example is the friend I mentioned in the last post. Another example was a THERAPIST I went to when I was 24, who actually said that "everyone" dates at somepoint, especially in college, and didn't believe me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 11:59am

Why do you find it necessary to tell people that you have never had a boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:41pm

I wish I were getting all these invitations to parties and weddings. I would see them as an opportunity to meet new people. Look at the bright side. Also, seems you don't think that highly of the bride & groom, you say they don't have many friends? That's not a real positive thing to say about someone. Honestly, if I felt someone was talking that way about me behind my back, I would be very hurt and would tell them to not even bother coming to my wedding. Nobody is forcing you to attend these things.

There's plenty of never-married, divorced, and even widowed people out there who are going to parties - alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 1:10pm
I don't find it necessary, but if people ask I don't lie. That's exactly what I say, that I date some times but have never had a serious relationship.

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