bitter friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2013
bitter friends
9
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 2:25am

I have been going out with and frequently chatting with an asian guy. We met on a dating site, after messaging we started talking on the phone and now we are FB friends. We have a lot in common. I told a few of my friends about him, they're response was "he must have a small p*nis", "hes not good in bed", "why cant you date a black person". I explained his race shouldnt matter, Im interested in getting to know him.

As I was getting dressed to meet him one day, a friend called and said she wanted me to dump him to hang with her, which i refused. She then said she wanted to hang out too, I said no that would be werid. Me and him spent the most of the day together, and my friend texted me asking when was I gonna be done with him, I never responded. Another friend texted I should ask to see his p*nis so I dont waste my time, I then shut off my phone. 

I had a girls day out and explained they are being rude and racist. One friend laughed and said my children would have slated eyes and nappy hair, another friend said I was spending alot of time with him and ignoring them. Another friend said she doesnt understand why I dont want "pure black babies" and did I get "d*ck down" yet. I havent talked to anyone since then. If it matters they are all single....

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 9:49am

  You are running in to racism.  These are racists.  This is about them, not you.  It could be that you will compartmentalize this group of acquaintances so as not to disturb your piece and happiness.

Goldfish

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 10:45am

I have a really close black girlfriend who will not date outside of her race.  Well, except for Latin men, but she's yet to actually date one, LOL.  She's just really attracted to them.  I've mentioned several times that she should give a white guy a chance and she won't hear of it.  Obviously, she isn't racist because I'm one of her closest friends.  What I'm getting at is, maybe it's a cultural thing to give you a hard time about it?  Not that it would excuse their behavior or remarks, but maybe they aren't being bitter.  Maybe they are just winding you up?  Does that make sense?  

Anyway, do you like him?  Is he a good guy? That's all that really matters.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 12:02pm

I wouldn't want to hang out with them either. I don't care if they're racist or if it's just a cultural thing to give you a hard time. It's mean. I wouldn't want to hang out with mean people!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 12:07pm

Ask these girls how they would feel if the guy's Asian friends & relatives started saying derogatory racial comments about black people?  I know that some people prefer to only date people of their own race and I think that's ok but to made rude comments about your BF--that's not something that so called "friends" should do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2013
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 5:44pm

"winding me up" as in pissing me off? When your in a new relationship you like to talk to your gfs about issues or whats good about it. They should be supportive.

I understand people may like to date what ever race, but I repeatedly say I dont care what race he is they should leave it at that. I cant tell my friends anything, somethings wrong with that.....

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 6:15pm

.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 07-21-2013 - 3:37pm

Whether it's a cultural thing or not, their remarks are hateful and rude.  Regardless if they are single or not, that gives them no right to insult the guy you are seeing.  And for one of your friends to tell you to cancel plans w/your guy just to hang with her?  Really?  She selfish, much?  Honestly, I wouldn't hang with these girls.  And they don't sound like good friends at all.  I used to have friends like that & I cut them off.  You can't be positive when you surround yourself with negative people.  And besides, frienships are supposed to help build you up.  And not bring you down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2011
Tue, 07-23-2013 - 2:48pm

jeallousy and not too much brains in the head!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Tue, 08-20-2013 - 9:47pm

I assume your'e real and not trolling b/c most Asian men don't deliberately go for black women. Second, your friends' behavior too seem a bit extreme.

Anyhoo, why would the size of the dick matter?  If that's the case, do you think China would be the most  populous country in the world? Unless it's unsually small (and that has nothing to do with the size of the man), it's really not a problem. Are you so loose that you need a baseball bat size dick to satisfy you? Why do you think most women use their fingers to pleasure themselves. Because that's all you need really. The porn industry has really sold women a bill of goods. BIG DICKS HURT, nothing sensual about that.

A friend of  mine once had sex with an Indian man, tall and medium build, but had a dick fully erect, the size of a finger. So outward appearances don't mean anything. If they still insist, why do'nt you show them some Asian porn? 

Seriously now, they're stupid and racist. I've been told by some black women it's hard to find a good black man so I do think they're jealous of you. Love is hard to find. I'm not saying this man will be the one for you but girl, tell these girls until they themselves have a good man, they have to right to laugh at you.