Bitter & Frustrated--what can I do?
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Bitter & Frustrated--what can I do?
| Wed, 01-09-2008 - 3:14pm |
OK, this is a bit of a venting post, but I swear I am at my wits end. I'm so sick of dating...putting myself out there, getting my hopes up and then finally finding a guy I like only to find he's not interested in me. At 33 years old I don't know how much more I can take--I'm sick of watching friend after friend find their perfect match while I have no one. I'm sick of being forced to continually find new friends when my friends marry and suddenly have no time for me. I'm mature, attractive, fun and witty--in fact every guys best friend, but time and time again end up being just the buddy. I don't date cheaters, losers, or people that don't treat me well so its definitely not that I'm looking in the wrong places. I'm putting myself out there. I don't fall in love with anyone who pays me attention--in fact I'm very down to earth and realistic about who I like (ie I have to like them for who they are, not just b/c they are paying attention to me)--hence the fact I don't like many people so even having crushes is few and far between. In fact the last three guys I've even been at all interested in I've later found out is already taken. its just so frustrating. All I ask for is a guy who is kind, makes me laugh, treats me well and who I find attractive--so I'm not too picky. I have a full life and a career and friends I enjoy. In other words, there is nothing wrong with ME, nothing I can "fix" or that I'm doing wrong. So why can't i find my happy ending? Yes, I'm happy by myself and have been for SEVEN years but at the same time I want a family, a husband and kids and am sick of waiting. How do I keep going through this another day???

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Well, lets focus on what's important here boys. First of all dear, I totally understand your views on settling down. I thought I was settled at one point in my life. Now I am going through
Stephanie Jo
what you are feeling isn't anything abnormal or a thing to be ashamed of, I don't see it as looking for a "drug" or something ugly like that
If you have questions or comments regarding the reminder posted, please direct them to relationshipscm@mail.ivillage.com rather than posting them to the board, as this is considered disruptive to the board.
Thanks!
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Hi missy,
I could have written your post, although I'm older than you by 2 decades.
You aren't doing anything wrong. I have heard many people compare looking for love to looking for a job, that it's a numbers game, and I just don't feel they are the same. I feel that it is pretty much out of your control as to when you meet someone. However, you do have to "get out there" (which you are doing). But I know this is wearying. Sometimes you just have to lay down on the side of the dating road and rest (or vent).
I have no great advice in terms of how to deal with your frustration. I can recommend a good book (I've recommended it many times on this board) and it's called "With or Without a Man." Available on Amazon.
All the best.
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