Body Language

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Body Language
6
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 1:31am

I thought this might be interesting...it's obviously a fact that women pick up body language so much better than men. So what have body language do you look for when you talk to the opposite sex?

Cheers
Tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 9:45am
I look t osee if he's looking me in the eye when I talk and paying attention to me. If his arms are folded over or open, which looks more welcoming and basically if he is focusing attention on me instead of nervously peering around the room and looking at other things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:28pm
Yeah I guess I like when guys smile and pay attention to you which would be looking at you, up and down for that matter :), or maybe touching my arm or something to show interest. If a guy can laugh and smile a lot, that is good. If he seems nervous and keeps looking around or down, thats not good. I like when their body is turned me, showing interest. But not totally always looking at me or focusing on me, thats not good either. You don't want to try too hard at all. Just a good feel that they seem real, like they aren't trying too hard, yet they seem confident, thats the key.


Edited 5/17/2006 12:30 pm ET by precious2be
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:39pm
I do feel that women pick up on things better then men. I also feel we, meaning men and women, primarily do the same things when we're interested in somebody. Smiling, touching, and proximity have a lot to do with it when it comes to body language. One thing I have learned that IS different between the sexes is the reason they're interested. Women can become confused a lot of the times because when they see these "cues" they take it to mean that a man is interested in a relationship with them. They're thinking like women, because this is what we want. But even though a man can give you all the singles, is does not mean he wants a relationship with you. It could mean much more. He might just want to flirt, but not be interested. He might want sex. Or me might actually want a relationship. So in my opinion, is not how they go about it (body language) that is different. It what they're ultimately interested in that is different. I hope this makes sense....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 2:54pm

I think the previous posters have covered many of the obvious signs. Here, I would like to raise a related question: Can we rely on the more unconscious signals, like reaching toward the stranger's direction, playing with your hair?

Yesterday, I was watching a guy hitting on a girl. Her body was as stiff as a stone, with her arms crossed, but she was kicking her leg the whole time. Furthermore, She was looking at him and smiling, and speaking in the most mesmerizing voice. I think that smiling and looking are conscious efforts, but should we rely on the less conscious signals, like, in this case, the leg-kick and her voice? I will appreciate any response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 3:13pm

If we're already speaking, I do look to see if he's making eye contact with me and if his body is turned towards me. Usually I can pick up pretty quickly when someone doesn't want to be talking to me and I'll make a bit more polite conversation and find a way out. If he's looking elsewhere, looking uncomfortable or has his whole body slowly turning away from me- those are all signs that he wants to be anywhere but here. But even if he is turned towards me and is looking at me and smiling, I do have a hard time gaging if he really is interested or if he's just being sociable.

When not in a conversation, if I come into the room and he smiles at me while staring, I may get the hint. Smiles and warm eye contact go a long way. But speaking is much better and clearer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
In reply to: tst07
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 3:55pm

YES, you should only rely on subconscious signals. Many women are polite and have been taught to never offend in social situations ("to be a lady").

In addition, language/culture are only a few thousand years old, while body language (which all animals have) is at least 60 million years old and is primal, in the evolutionary sense.