Boredom and confusion - YIKES!
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| Sun, 04-08-2007 - 1:13pm |
The guy I've been dating for a couple of months has made it obvious that he doesn't want a relationship. In fact, every time we talk he has to find a way to mention a friend who is breaking up with this live-in girlfriend and that is why he will "never ever live with someone." Or he'll tell me that all of his friends are divorced and that is why he can never see himself as being married. He has even said that he is so used to his single life (he's 36 and never married) that he thinks he is now too old to change it.
Um...okay. So I don't want anything serious right now, either. However, I just don't want to go into anything expecting it to be serious, but I'd like to have the option. Also, this leaves me wondering what he DOES want from me. In a lot of ways he treats me like his dirty little secret, however he calls me all the time and we just assume that when we are both free we'll hang out. But then when I called him last night he picked up the phone and said really hushed "can't talk. I'll call you in a bit." I got a text a few minutes later that said a friend of ours from church was over and he'd call me once he left. This is where I feel like a dirty little secret because no one at church knows we are dating and apparently wants to keep it that way. On the other hand, all of his non church friends know about me.
The fact is I'm bored and I am not in the position in my life where I can just hang around and BS. I want a ltr eventually and I don't want to waste time with someone who just wants to have sex. But everything I've said to him would indicate that I am in agreement with him. I've told him about my ex and how I've learned to not depend on anyone. I come across as fun and single. He did tell me he is "so in love" with me, but I took it as a joke, punched him and told him shutup (joking, of course). And it seems like since that moment he has been reiterating his declaration of lifelong singleness.
My question is, how do I open up the communication on this? Or should I just chalk it up to him being a goober and move on?

I vote goober.