On a boring Friday night...

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
On a boring Friday night...
23
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 10:35pm

I should be exhausted from working the football game right now, but thanks to a jerkwad administrator, I'm not.  So I'm home, and bored.  What do I do when I'm bored on a Friday night and feeling lonely?  Why, look up ex boyfriends online, of course.  Isn't that what everyone does? (And just doesn't want to admit it.)

One ex I looked up when I first moved here 12 years ago, but couldn't find him.  I didn't know a soul within an hour and a half, and he was from here.  I couldn't find him at all.  Who can't be found on the internet these days??  It's not like his name is John Smith or anything.  No Facebook or anything for him.  So tonight, I got creative.  (I refuse to call it stalking, because I'm not doing this repeatedly!) I looked up his brother to see if he had a Facebook account.  He did, so I looked through his friends list.  I found one person with the same last name- a woman- so I clicked on her profile.  There wasn't much there, but her pictures were public so I clicked there.  And there he was.  I'm assuming the two kids in the other pictures were his.  I don't recall him having a sister, so it had to be his wife.  And I'm pretty sure her name is the name of the girl he started dating right after we broke up.  That always happens.  He had a whole lot less hair than he did when I knew him, that's for sure.  He was the one that got away, so it's kinda sad to confirm he's married (as I suspected), but at least now I know he's not dead.  When I couldn't ever find him, I thought maybe he was.  He's not nearly as attractive as he was at 20, but I suppose that's true of all of us.  The pictures were from 2009, so he probably has even less hair now!

Then I tried looking up an ex from 9 years ago.  The one who I suspect is bipolar.  He sent me a friend request when I first joined FB, so I know he has one.  He didn't come up in searches either!  I really just wanted to see if his life had self-destructed yet, as I suspect it might.  That guy really crushed me.  It did take me to a google search of him, which led to a page for his school district that said he was an "administrative intern."  He was working on his admin degree when we dated nine years ago, and he's just now an "intern"?  Hmmm...the boy can't stay focused to save his life!

My last search involved a guy I never met.  Back in college, email was fairly new and IM was just getting started.  One boring Friday night, I was in our dorm's computer lab where you could search for other people from the university who were online.  They were only identified by student number on the screen, and maybe one or two words that the person had added.  I picked a number with something clever written next to it and said hello.  That led to a very long chat, and four or so years of emailing back and forth.  We talked about meeting, but it never happened.  He gave me his phone number after he graduated (two years before me), but I never used it.  At that point, it just would have been weird.  I still have his last email- dated 2001- saved.  It was right after he'd gotten married. So I searched for him on FB.  I think I'd found him before, but was too chicken to send a request.  We never exchanged pictures or anything, so I wasn't sure if that was him or not.  This time, I didn't find him.  I didn't find his wife, either.  A google search (and this is a bit scary) revealed his address and phone number.  I would never use those, of course.  But again, he's still alive! 

Now it's 9:30, and I can't think of anyone else I'd like to look up, so I might go to bed.  I took a nap when I got home, though, so I don't think I'd fall asleep. Friday night TV is boring.  I certainly don't want to clean house or do laundry or grade papers. 

So that's what I did on this boring Friday night.  What about you?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 9:25pm

Hi,

I know this sounds really negative, but I really try to stay off facebook for that reason.  I think some of you may remember a guy who got in touch with me (we had dated for five years but we broke up and he ended up marrying with someone else, then getting divorced).  Anyhow, I actually blocked him from facebook, so that even if I search him out, I can't find it!! He is pretty transparent and not very sophisticated with things, so you can totally see who he's dating, etc.......anyhow, fixed that!! lol.

I also had an ex bf from high school friend me on facebook.......didn't think much of it but he started sending messages saying that I was his sweetest girlfriend and stuff, which was odd (he's married - I get the feeling he may have some "extracurricular" stuff going on!).  He actually lives near me now in my new apartment and he sent me his cell number, but I don't think I'm going to go there.  Anyhow, I find it's much easier to stay off the online thing to avoid torturing yourself and just generally finding out things you don't need to know (e.g. almost every single person from my high school is now married with kids!).

First real week-end in the new apartment......found a cheap place to get highlights but the woman made me totally too-blonde.  Wishing I had the money to go to a nice salon to darken it up a bit but.......oh well........it will fade in a week or two......

Went to a neighbourhood pub today........that was relaxing.......can't believe back to work tomorrow :smileyhappy:

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 9:45pm

I deleted my FB account 2 weeks ago, and have felt great since.  I don't like the whole culture of it.  I do see where it is useful in some cases, but not worth it for me

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 9:51pm
It's the only way I know what's going on with my family. There are several people who have added me that are far too dramatic and I just remove them from my newsfeed. Some days, it's my only connection to the outside world so I can't imagine not having that connection. Seeing the pictures and videos my sister uploads of the baby and my niece uploads of my great nephew makes me happy. I usually use my phone, so I don't see the ads or friend suggestions, and I've already blocked exes I don't want to deal with.

The things I found didn't make me upset at all. If they would have, I wouldn't have searched. It was just out of curiosity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 6:15am

FB keeps me updated with my friends in other countries, and of course all the others. I try to hide posts by people who are overly political (like some of my relatives, rather annoying) or posting many photos of their dogs every day etc. But it could be better, I still get lots on my newsfeed that I would have preferred not to see - even though I have made settings according to my wishes.

I like FB in many ways, but it is overrated IMO. It is not all that great or exciting. And sometimes others´ posts/photos of kids/ statuses make me feel slightly down, as they have actually managed to find their One and start a family. Then I feel guilty about feeling down due to this, as I am very happy for them and wish them all the best! Sometimes I want to post a status like "Sad single Sunday" or similar, but it sounds like a complaint (which is the truth...) and negative. And then I rather put on my happy face and post something else. But I guess that applies for most people, we all post positive things although it might not be the reality.

Anyhow, my Friday was spent with my cousin who came to visit me this weekend. :-)

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 10:46am

Wow, I'm impressed that you deleted it altogether! I sort of feel like doing that--my "friends" are a combination of clients and friends/acquaintences, and I do hear of a lot of events worth attending through FB.

But I have hidden numerous people from my newsfeed especially those in new relaitonships, overly-religious, political and just generally boring (like photographing what you eat everyday...what??)

The thing to remember is that all of these things people post are carefully edited and are just a split second in an otherwise (usually) ordinary life. But it's hard when you're feeling a little insecure to go on and see someone's trip to Tuscany with their new boyfriend. 

I can't wait for what will come next after FB falls away....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 11:56am

Well my 17 yr old son says FB is passe for him--he's into tumblr now, which seems a lot like Pinterest to me.  My 23 yr old DD still uses FB though--in fact since she has now "allowed" me to be her FB friend, I at least know what she's doing since she lives in another state.  I don't really feel envious of what people post on FB.  I know most of my friends are married anyway but most of my friends aren't into the "bragging" posts.  Just this summer 2 of my old high school friends had kids who got married and I was able to see the pictures.  Stuff like that is interesting to me.  Of course no one is going to post that they are bored or are having problems--people generally only post the positive things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 5:54pm

I try to spend my weekends going out dancing as much as possible.So basically every Friday I go out dancing.I hate FB.I will be deleting it again because for one...I too have looked up an ex who is bipolar and to see him FINALLY working makes me feel good BUT it also pisses me off at times because I remember when he was with me it was like pulling teeth to get him to ever hold down a job...so now he has a job and he has a gf...also the guy that I had told him how I had felt about him in 2010..the one who stated that he;s not looking for a relationship...yeah well NOW he has a gf living with him in his home after meeting her sometime in April...yeah so ME who had been trying to start a relationship with him since 2010..someone else succeeded moving in with him  in less then 1 yr..so yeah like that makes me feel good so YEAH... I feel all you guys pain..but it's true...we just end up torturing ourselves...so hence the reason I go out dancing so I will not be tempted to look up people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 9:25pm

Not to mention that when you go out dancing, you are exercising, which is giving you endorphins, thereby making you feel happier, plus you are getting social interaction which you aren't getting at home in front of the computer.  I just keep hoping that some day one of the guys I dance with is going to do more than just ask me to dance & then go home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 9:30pm

Friday night was no biggie for me, I did a little housekeeping and then switched on the ham radio to have a couple of conversations with some really cool strangers. Not exactly boring IMO... my only complaint is that this furnace-like heat wave REFUSES to die down... I have no pep because of this hot weather, hard to get ANYTHING done...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 10:24pm

It's been almost three weeks and I feel NO regrets.  I don't think it is natural to know as much as we do about the people on FB. I don't *want* to know that I disagree vociferously with some of my friends' and relatives' political views.  Some things are better left private.  And I do get tired of the lovey-dovey stuff.  If people have to brag about it, it most likely ain't all that.

Yes, I may be missing some events that are announced on FB, but I am sure I can find them from another source.