On a boring Friday night...

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
On a boring Friday night...
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 10:35pm

I should be exhausted from working the football game right now, but thanks to a jerkwad administrator, I'm not.  So I'm home, and bored.  What do I do when I'm bored on a Friday night and feeling lonely?  Why, look up ex boyfriends online, of course.  Isn't that what everyone does? (And just doesn't want to admit it.)

One ex I looked up when I first moved here 12 years ago, but couldn't find him.  I didn't know a soul within an hour and a half, and he was from here.  I couldn't find him at all.  Who can't be found on the internet these days??  It's not like his name is John Smith or anything.  No Facebook or anything for him.  So tonight, I got creative.  (I refuse to call it stalking, because I'm not doing this repeatedly!) I looked up his brother to see if he had a Facebook account.  He did, so I looked through his friends list.  I found one person with the same last name- a woman- so I clicked on her profile.  There wasn't much there, but her pictures were public so I clicked there.  And there he was.  I'm assuming the two kids in the other pictures were his.  I don't recall him having a sister, so it had to be his wife.  And I'm pretty sure her name is the name of the girl he started dating right after we broke up.  That always happens.  He had a whole lot less hair than he did when I knew him, that's for sure.  He was the one that got away, so it's kinda sad to confirm he's married (as I suspected), but at least now I know he's not dead.  When I couldn't ever find him, I thought maybe he was.  He's not nearly as attractive as he was at 20, but I suppose that's true of all of us.  The pictures were from 2009, so he probably has even less hair now!

Then I tried looking up an ex from 9 years ago.  The one who I suspect is bipolar.  He sent me a friend request when I first joined FB, so I know he has one.  He didn't come up in searches either!  I really just wanted to see if his life had self-destructed yet, as I suspect it might.  That guy really crushed me.  It did take me to a google search of him, which led to a page for his school district that said he was an "administrative intern."  He was working on his admin degree when we dated nine years ago, and he's just now an "intern"?  Hmmm...the boy can't stay focused to save his life!

My last search involved a guy I never met.  Back in college, email was fairly new and IM was just getting started.  One boring Friday night, I was in our dorm's computer lab where you could search for other people from the university who were online.  They were only identified by student number on the screen, and maybe one or two words that the person had added.  I picked a number with something clever written next to it and said hello.  That led to a very long chat, and four or so years of emailing back and forth.  We talked about meeting, but it never happened.  He gave me his phone number after he graduated (two years before me), but I never used it.  At that point, it just would have been weird.  I still have his last email- dated 2001- saved.  It was right after he'd gotten married. So I searched for him on FB.  I think I'd found him before, but was too chicken to send a request.  We never exchanged pictures or anything, so I wasn't sure if that was him or not.  This time, I didn't find him.  I didn't find his wife, either.  A google search (and this is a bit scary) revealed his address and phone number.  I would never use those, of course.  But again, he's still alive! 

Now it's 9:30, and I can't think of anyone else I'd like to look up, so I might go to bed.  I took a nap when I got home, though, so I don't think I'd fall asleep. Friday night TV is boring.  I certainly don't want to clean house or do laundry or grade papers. 

So that's what I did on this boring Friday night.  What about you?



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 2:39am
Well tonight I wasn't bored, but was in class. However I do feel your pain because I did do something similar a few months ago. I found out one ex bf is now gay and another lives across the country with a wife and child and he's even fatter than when we were dating. After looking up 2 I got tired and didn't bother to search for any others lol.
Follow me to Coping with Job Loss

Follow me to Birth Control

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 2:57am
It's amazing how the Internet has so much information, yet it's so much work to find it. I got tired after three and I didn't really look too much for the second one.

It's nearly 2am here and I'm still struggling to fall asleep. I've been lying here for an hour and a half and my mind just won't stop racing.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 8:52am

I ended up going shopping.  I kind of splurged but my wardrobe needed it.  I grabbed a salad on the way home, and watched Bering Sea Gold, Under The Ice.  I was asleep before ten. 

If I had the extra money I swear, I'd be in Alaska dredging for gold.  That show is so addictive.  There's supposedly some gold a little north east of here, near the base of the mountains.  My oldest niece and I had talked about going up there this past summer and panning for fun but we forgot.  Ha!  I'd still like to try it at some point.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 10:43am
Funny, I did the same thing last night - home on a friday night and still reeling from the date that never called afterwards. So I got online. Sometimes I hate the Internet. First, I discovered that a good friend of mine, who I dated for 2 days before realizing I'd rather stay just friends, is now in a relationship and he never told me. He probably doesn't realize that when his girlfriend tags him in stuff on Facebook I can see it. I'm hurt because we are friends and he didn't mention this huge part of his life. And I have to admit, I'm also a little jealous. Lately I've been questioning my decision to friend zone him. Too late now. Oh and I know his girlfriend and she hates me. Actually,the feeling is mutual. Probably why he kept it quiet. Then I looked up my ex - my one that got away. His profile is public...score! He is still single and still has extreme political and anti-religious views. We clashed on so many subjects and argued constantly. But he's a writer like me and he got me to like Bob Dylan. My favorite dates were with him - people watching at Barnes and Noble, breaking into a resort at night to go swimming in the fountains, him reading me a super hero comic book as I drifted of to sleep. It was a unique relationship and I miss being challenged like only he could. I broke up with him because he couldn't label our relationship. It had only been 2 months. I should have been more patient. He contacted me a few years ago and we had coffee. And argued the entire time about evolution and God, so I deleted him from fb. I'm thinking of sending him a message, even though this man drives me crazy (and not always in a good way). Sigh. I never learn. Other stuff I've learned from Facebook: another ex married someone 6 months after we broke up, when he told me he wasn't the "marrying type." This was a few years ago. I haven't had the guts to cyberstalk him since then, but I know through mutual friends that they are still together and have a kid. And a few months ago fb revealed (by posts seen by a mutual friend,, not stalking) that yet another ex has also happily moved on. Seriously. I HATE the Internet. Hate it!!! Lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 11:02am

well I am with you CFK.. If I had the funds I would be on some archeological dig or something somewhere.. I might look into it but then again I am a chicken when it comes to finding things and doing things alone lately and trust me I have done tons of things alone and with others..

All I did was eat dinner and take a long walk with sis;'s boyfriend and the dog.. Sis enlisted the aid of boyfriend to walk her dog but that is another story.. I so wish I had my own man to share life with. Its getting very depressing for me to keep borrowing other men (lol)

After that I watched reruns of the show Monk and then I went to bed.. but of course I had to check facebook and read all of the horrible comments about the US and how we are horrible people for wars and all..and the problems in the Middle East..

I keep cyber stalking a guy who asked me out once and then changed his mind. He is four years younger than me and he has totally ghosted. Maybe he didnt like the fact I was 58 and he was 54 or maybe he just changed his mind. I notice that he hangs out alot with a married woman who lives a few hours away from him.. They go to country farms together and they flirt on facebook. I wonder what that is all about as he is supposedly a Christian man and I wouldnt think he would have an affair.

I also stalk my rebound guy;s new wife from a few years ago. i am trying to find out if they had gotten married and trying to find out what they are doing but all she does is write about politics and things like that. so boring and I cant see anything else..

oh; boy.. all secrets revealed eh!!!


Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 11:34am

I went shopping a few weeks ago with my sisters.  I wasn't going to buy anything, but I did, and I feel guilty about it.  I really need to clean out my closet.  It's packed full, but I don't wear about half of it.  I'm just keeping things "just in case" I ever need them.  I have about four drawers full of sweaters and I only wear a few of them. 

Sometimes I wish I'd go to my mailbox and find a check from someone who forgot they owed me a lot of money.  Wouldn't that be nice?


Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 11:36am

Sounds like we might have dated the same guy!  I haven't heard from or talked to my ex in years (since he was deployed at the beginning of the war), but we would argue about the same things.  The chemistry was great, but I couldn't stand him sometimes!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 12:00pm

My son picked up some food for us then took off to hang with his new girl.  I logged into Netflix and started watching 'The United States of Tara'   And I drank.

Woo Hoo...

I have a four day weekend and spent Friday just relaxing (after I paid bills -ugh).  The weather is so flipping gorgeous round here and the motorcycles are up and down my road all day and into the night.  It's killing me!  Got woken up this morning to the sound of one pulling into my driveway.  At least that's what I thought and got all excited thinking one of my past rides had surprised me....no, that wasn't the case.  So I'm disappointed now.  

And I'll do some sort of something similar tonite, Sunday nite, Monday nite...etc 

I just can't even get up the desire to go out.  I am not afraid to go to a local watering hole on my own, I just don't really feel like it.   Probably the same people with the same stories stuck in the situations with the same people as the last time I saw them.  kwim?

I have an appt with a new counselor/therapist Tuesday.  I should probably spend some time writing down the things that keep popping into my head.   Wouldn't that be a FUN Saturday nite?

I would love to find an ex from over 10yrs ago.  I tried before and couldn't locate him anywhere.  Maybe it would be easier this time.  I just really would love to know if he ended up well.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 8:12pm

Take all the clothes that you haven't worn in a couple of years, put them in a bag & donate them.  You'll feel better looking at a cleaner closet & maybe be inspired to buy new stuff.  I notice that every few years my taste changes and of course I like buying new clohtes anyway.  Even my DD noticed that I am buying more stylish clothes, in her words.

Well I did have kind of an exciting Friday night--I took my son & his friend to a concert (his first) to see Florence & the Machine.  Even though he has his license, he hasn't had it 6 months yet so he can't drive with a teenager in the car without an adult.  The concert venue was about 1/2 hr from home so I told him the only way he could go was if I went with them.  (His idea about being dropped off & picked up was not really feasible, esp. since with all the cars it took us 1/2 hr just to move from the parking lot.)  I enjoyed it myself and it was a smaller venue so we had pretty good seats for not that much money.  Of course I was out late & then had to get up early to go to a funeral, so tonight is my night to stay in and amuse myself with the computer.

I am usually not a cyberstalker.  I looked once for my high school BF but couldn't find him.  When my cousin was doing our reunion, she told me he lives in CA and is married w/ kids (I think she talked to him on the phone)--I'd just be curious to see what he looks like now.  I tried finding another exBF but his last name is common so I think there were a bunch of people with the same last name.  Otherwise, there is no one I'm that interested in finding.  I dont' have a lot of ex BFs since I was married for so long--kind of cut down on the numbers.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 9:04pm

See, that would require me to actually clean out my closet.  Which is a whole lot of not fun work!  I need to do it soon, though.  We have a place here in town that takes donations, and they benefit Big Brothers, Big Sisters, so if I ever get around to it, I'll take my stuff there.  If my sister decides to move in with me (no decision yet), I'll  have to clean out stuff.  The spare closet is full too!

I like smaller places when I go out, but not usually for concerts.  It's just so loud for live music.  Parking is always a problem, too.  It's nice that it's cheaper, though.

I'm not doing anything tonight either.  I was on the treadmill for 50 minutes, then showered, then had my salad that I bought earlier today.  Then contemplated how it could possibly only have 190 calories like their website says, given the ingredients.  The cheese alone had to be at least 100.  Plus a hard boiled egg (small one, probably 55), plus three meats.  These are the places my mind goes when I'm bored!  I had the calories to spare, so it really didn't matter. 

It looks like it's gonna be The Big Bang Theory for me tonight, and maybe a Weight Watchers smoothie bar for dessert.  This summer I had weeks when I was out five nights in a row.  Now...not so much!