Boyfriend material vs. Husband material

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Boyfriend material vs. Husband material
7
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 7:44am

I always hear men talk about girlfriend material vs. wife material, or the woman you sleep with vs. the woman you date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:12am
Personally I date people that I want a long term relationship with. So if I realize that someone I am with isn't going somewhere, or i do not see a future with them, then I am breaking up with them, I am not going to keep a boyfriend around just to say I have a boyfriend and then dump them when "husband material" comes along. I'm dumping them and being alone so that I'm available for the next guy.

Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 12:53pm

I'm with hockey, I'm not much of a serial dater, when dating. I don't have the patience ; )

--I worded that wrong as I sit here reading this, hours later. I meant, I won't keep dating someone who I could not see myself with for an extended amount of time. I don't date to be dating.

I am not making any sense.

Okay, what I meant was: If I've ruled a guy out as someone I could love, I let him go. Of course, that's now, I may change gears further down the single highway.

I feel better now.




Edited 12/4/2006 3:49 pm ET by bbw_26
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 1:42pm

I think to a point that dividing line exists with women...though I have to say I try to steer clear of anyone who I know right away isn't "husband material."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 6:29pm

At this stage in my life, a guy won't be my boyfriend unless I feel he is also husband material.

For me, qualities that make for husband material:

- financially responsible

- good to children and animals (the most recent guy I dated was a bit rough with my puppy, and that was a red flag for me)

- good relationship with his family and/or friends (I know some people don't have the best families, but I am looking for someone who generally gets along with people and is at peace with his family situation at least)

- makes a sincere effort to make time for me

- someone who isn't still living the college party lifestyle in his 30s, knows how to fix at least a basic meal and makes his bed

- someone secure who doesn't need to be worshipped by me -- or doesn't need to worship me and put me on a pedestel. I need someone who genuinely appreciates me as a human being and is not looking for some fantasy.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 6:44pm

You make sense, don't worry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 7:16pm

>>I honestly don't know how men can date someone, knowing she's all wrong. I guess it must be the committment thing, or maybe the sex thing. Who knows.<<

I know. The most recent guy I dated... he apparently didn't feel a spark for me. Yet, he kept calling and wanting to see me. I think, if I hadn't called him on it, he would have kept dating me indefinitely (or until Ms. Spark appeared). If I don't feel a spark for someone, I end it. If I feel a spark, but I know he's all wrong, it takes longer - but I end it.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 8:42pm
The last guy I dated that was "bf material" was really sexy, played in a band, and managed a pizza parlor by day. He was just really fun to hang out with and eventually it fizzled when one or the other of us found someone else. Husband material to me is someone who is emotionally/financially mature, well-educated and grounded. They OWN the pizza parlor (hehehe)...