bumping into an ex at bar
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| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 12:58pm |
I live in a small town and this is kind of my first time experiencing dating (was in long term relationship for years).
I dated a guy for 6 weeks this winter, and then was recently involved with someone for about 4 weeks. Now, I'm bumping into both of them at the bar quite often.
The first one I can handle- he's very shy and doesn't speak to me, and we just exchange polite smiles and talk a bit. He doesn't try to pick up girls at the bar, so I have yet to see that and feel any jealousy.
This other guy though, wow, I'm just a big confused and angry and jealous right now. We just ended things last week. It was mutual-he didn't want to start a relationship and I knew he was too young and not stable, so we just agreed to be friends. Now I see him out, and even hear about this from friends- he tries to pick up every damn woman in the bar.
I saw him last night and we talked a bit, but he really didn't look at me much, so I kind of kept my distance. He was staring at me with this kind of, shameful jealous look. So I'm thinking, maybe he does have feelings for me and it's hard for him to just be friends. He had been actively calling me for awhile and was so interested, then it just stopped. I had to call him to ask him what was up and to discuss things.
But then I see him hitting on this, and i really don't want to sound rude here, but to be frank, fat ugly chick. He's totally hitting on her. I watch him work his way around the bar too-trying to pick up.
All I can feel is
a)why doesn't he want me
b)why is he hitting on these girls that aren't that attractive- does that make me ugly too?
and then I don't know, I just feel a mixture of anger and jealousy. Mostly angry at me for having been with a guy that's so obviously a player. But jealous too. And I feel used and cheap. Like all he wanted was sex and I thought I saw this nice guy there- but now i feel stupid.
There, had to vent a bit. But is there any advice on how to deal with this guy and with my own feelings? I know I'll see him out tonight and every time I'm out.

He could be trying to make you jealous and come running back to him so he can say to his pals he took you back out of pity.
then again. men can play the game as well as we can.
He is a womanizer ...picking a girl no matter her looks is ok...but to blatently do it in front of an old fling or let it get back to you thru the grapevine is wrong.
If you cannot handle being in the same bar as him maybe you should relocate your party elsewere. No one should go around and force someones jealousy out.
If he cared for you and your feelings he would not pay any mind to you while you both were at the br at the same time. your relationship ended, respect it, and move on. IF he is looking at you for a reaction...this man could be the wrong person for you.
no matter what...good luck.
>fat ugly chick
>b)why is he hitting on these girls that aren't
>that attractive- does that make me ugly too?
If a man wrote this he would be crucified! Whatever happened to beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Why are you being so critical of women that you don't even know and have done nothing to hurt you? They may have integrity and a GSOH.
Edited 5/14/2006 3:23 am ET by hal_9000
His actions are solidifying the reason you broke up.
I don't judge people on looks at all. So a sincere apology for offending- I knew what I was saying was completely out of character for me, but just was emotional.