call after a first date...how long

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
call after a first date...how long
3
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 6:58pm
How long after a first date with a man do you think they should call you to show that they are interested, 3 days, 2 days, a week? I went on a date with a man that I met online who I'm interested in yesterday and wondering if he doesnt' call me in a couple of days can I safely assume that he's not interested?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 7:46pm

My experience is that a guy who is REALLY interested will call within a day or two. The more time it takes, the lower their interest level, in my experience.

I had one guy recently who didn't contact me and I finally emailed him, just because I'd really been feeling a connection and I was kind of baffled not to hear from him, so I just wanted to test the waters. He wrote right back and wanted to get together again (and called a day or two later), but I'm now lukewarm in my interest towards him because he didn't contact me until I prodded him (plus our 2nd date wasn't until 2 weeks after the first), whereas my interest was very high early on. Plus I met someone else in the interim who is showing a very high level of interest so he's not doing well by comparison, and if he really was highly interested in me, he wouldn't have given someone else a chance to show more interest, I don't think.

Anyway, sorry, I got off on a tangent ;-). It's just interesting to me to see in action how a guy showing a low level of interest can lower *my* interest (Hal, are you reading this ;-)?).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 11:34pm
Yeah, I get the same way, when I notice that a guy's interest level is not too high then my interest level lowers as well. I have a feeling that he just wasn't that interested. I think he might have been slightly interested because he did make an effort to converse with me for awhile and genuinely seemed interested in what I had to say, but not that much or else I think he would have called me today (the day after). But....sometimes they just want to play it cool as well and not call for a few days so it doesnt' appear like they are too eager either. Who knows. If I don't hear from him in the next couple of days (by Tuesday) which is 3 days then I can probably assume that he's not interested. Dating is frustrating because it seems like the ones that I like dont' like me in the same way and the ones that like me, I don't like in the same way. I guess I just have to put my armour back on and just keep on at it and one of these days I'll get it right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 12:51am
Well, I can probably say that he's not interested now. I think if a guy doesn't call within 2 days of you going out then maybe he's just not interested. I'll give it one more day to see but then after that oh well so be it.......I get very frustrated with dating. It seems as if the guys who you have no chemistry for feel it with you and really like you, the ones you like don't like you back or if you do end up both liking each other equally then the guy eventually decides to pull away or something happens to make the relationship crash and burn. I guess I'm feeling kind of negative about dating and wanting to vent right now.