can a man tell me why he does that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
can a man tell me why he does that?
19
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:23pm

So, I guess I'm kind of single- in a relationship but a long-distance one. We were hanging out a lot before that, for like over half an year or so, and I did think we were together but he always said that we should just enjoy the moment and not worry about the future. So, he was about to go overseas for a couple of months and that's when we finally decided to be together and he agreed to a relationship. I even traveled to go visit him there. I though and still hope that now that he is away from me he will figure out how much I mean to him.


The thing is he is on and off in contact with his ex. I wrote on the board about this before but I am getting more and more worried. So, he's not a big writer. We chat quite often and

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:30pm
How are you seeing these messages? Are you reading his e-mails, or is this on Myspace or something?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:42pm
E-mails - he once mentioned his password in front of me. I know I shouldn't have done it because he chose to be with me and not her but I was worried. He hadn't writen in a week.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:54pm

Hmm...is this the same guy...


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsinglelovi/?msg=9019.1


It's the only post I can find from you about a guy, but the time doesn't add up and everyone told you to dump that one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 1:31pm

E-mails - he once mentioned his password in front of me.


**


I am going to have to say, if I caught a woman reading my Emil, I would instantly end the relationship. And for a simple reason. It is not a healthy relationship if there is no trust.


That being said, you have then been reading ALL his email without any "filter" he placed on it. If this were a smoking gun, you would have seen it already.


I honestly belive you need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself a simple question. Why would you want to be in a relationship with a man when you felt like you NEEDED to read his email? Is it relevant what you find, or isn't the lack of trust saying enough all alone? Why would you be with a man you do not trust? This one is on your side of the table . . he cant resolve it.


I see what you are doing . .well I own and carry a gun. I could use it, however it is my responsibility to not use it outside of a life threatening event. You have his password. You like me now have a responsibility to NOT use it. You have in emotional terms a loaded gun in your possession. You have misused a power you stole and were were

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 2:48pm

I know that I DID SOMETHING VERY BAD. And I regret it from the bottom of my heart! I am terribly sorry for what I did and you are right, I misused it. I know this!


I never said he was a jerk or mentioned anything bad behind his back! Did I?


All I wanted to find out was whether this sounds like I should be worried about his ex?


I know trust is everything but he also told me she was just a friend when it turned out that there was more to it.


That's all. All I wanted to know was whether this soudns like him being polite and nice to his ex, like a gentelman would be. Or whether there is something more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 2:51pm

No, it is not the same guy.


This one that I am in relationship with is another one. We started out as friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 3:36pm

That's all. All I wanted to know was whether this sounds like him being polite and nice to his ex, like a gentleman would be. Or whether there is something more.


****


I know I did not answer the question in the format you asked it, but I did answer it. If I do not trust someone, if I do not belive

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 3:43pm
>> And for a simple reason. It is not a healthy relationship if there is no trust. <<

That's exactly what I was thinking, and why I asked the question.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 3:53pm
>>What he

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 4:06pm

I've read through all the responses.


I'm not going to chastise you for reading his emails because I've done that too. In fact, I do think that in some cases, albeit rare, you DO need to snoop because otherwise you won't get the truth. I'm not saying snooping is always okay, but sometimes, IMO,

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