Can someone explain?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Can someone explain?
5
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 2:10am
There is a drummer whom I’ve seen in 5 shows. The first time two times I was with my then boyfriend and the drummer was staring at me; the third show I was no longer involved, went to a show, spoke with the band for a few and the drummer was staring at me once again; after the show, outside, he approached me, we gave each other a kiss on the cheek and a hug; I gave him my e-mail address and didn’t get a response. The 4th show he didn’t notice me as he done before; I had a flight to catch the next morning, as they went to break, my friends and I left. The 5th show was last weekend. Same thing, he didn’t notice me as he done the previous shows, then during their break, out of nowhere he comes by, gives me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. We spoke and he told me he’s been trying to find my e-mail address; I told him “bull” and he stated “why would I be here if I didn’t want to talk to you”; he then asked for me to stay after the show so he can have my number. When he went back to play, there he went staring at me the entire time. Afterwards, he came by, but before I gave him my number I asked him what my name is (mind you I told him a few months before), sure enough he remembered and stated he will call me. It’s been a week and no call. Can someone explain? Was there no interested on his end? Very confused. Thanks so much!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 10:12am

I'd say he's not all that interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 11:59am
I agree. He's had a couple chances and hasn't pulled through. It sounds like he's just not that interested and was maybe looking for a hook-up. Who's to say? No use wasting your time with him...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 3:29pm
Thanks for the reply. I figured at this point there was no interest; what I don't understand is if he wasn't interested, then why was I the only girl he was focussed/staring at 4 out of the 5 shows. Then comes up to me at the last show to explain why he didn't e-mail me, asks me to stay to get my #. Isn't that misleading? Why make so much effort if he never planned to call? Sorry for the questions, I want to understand so I can watch out for the future...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 7:09am

Guys like to chase (some women I know do, too) and they can be every bit as flaky as women can. I'd say he'd like to hook up with you, if you'd let him, but he's not prepared to invest or go the normal routes of actually attempting to date. It's not 'cause he's in a band - I led a very successful band in DC/NYC for 6 years and yeah, we get our fair share of interest from women (OK, it was more than our fair share...ahh, those were some good times!) but guys play the "Let me have your number" and then not call game in every environment.

Don't expect the guy to call, if he does, it doesn't hurt to go out, but he gets nothing for free.

His band any good, by the way?

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 9:24am

There very popular in NYC and on the East Coast…they’re a great band. Thanks for the advice…I dated a musician who was very faithful even if the women gravitated to him; he just had a good head on his shoulders.

Ahhh, the # game; truth is it makes me feel better…he thought I was attractive but it’s just a game…

Thanks again!