Can you believe this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Can you believe this?
8
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 11:29am

Last night I was out and when I checked my cell phone I had a VM from a guy I last went on a date with almost 2 years ago.  We went on 3 dates total, but there was a big space between the 2nd & 3rd--he hadn't called then we both happened to be on OLD again and he asked me out again & I went.  It was a pretty good time--he made an effort, we had a nice dinner, then we went to this special event called Fashions Night Out where there were things going on like a main street closed off, stores having special things, bands outside, etc.--but it was still awkward.  You know how you meet someone & the conversation flows easily & you feel like  you've known someone a long time?  Well it was not like that.  lol  But I think I was trying to convince myself that I should still date him cause he was nice enough and I wasn't dating anyone else--but there were definitely no sparks.

So after that date, he said he'd be having some minor surgery the next week.  I called him the night before to wish him well with it and he was saying "Oh you're so nice to remember, thanks for calling" and stuff like that--plus he had left his umbrella in my car.  So he says he'll call me in a few days when he feels better--never calls. 

so now he calls sucha  long time later and says "Hi, this is R.  Remember we met on match.com.  I was just calling to say hi & see how you were doing.  I'll call again or you can call me.  My number is..."  Yeah, I don't think so.  He's not a bad guy but really how do you even have the nerve to call someone after so long a time when you blew me off before?  I'm really in a different place now--I have a lot going on and I'm always busy and I'd rather be out doing something fun with friends than be on a boring date.  Plus I have 2 guys I have my eye on. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2012
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 1:14pm

That is crazy. Is he really expecting you to return his call?? Good for you! 

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 3:41pm

Perhaps if he has been lying in a coma, or was abducted by aliens I could understand.

I think people tend to act more rudely when they've met online. It's an unreal world, so I think some people think they don't have to be as polite as they would be if you had met through friends or at work.

Yeah, I wouldn't call, especially if you weren't feeling it anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 4:49pm

What's ironic is that in person he was always very polite.  I guess he's one of those that just says "I'll call you" even when he doesn't mean it.  I assume he has tried the dating pool & found it not that welcoming.  Is it any wonder that he reached 50+ and never got married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 6:43pm

Why yes, I can believe it, only because it seems like just about anything goes!  I'll be curious to see if he really does try calling again.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 7:42pm

I have nothing to add other than yeah, dude you are lame ;)  Laaaaaaame.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 12:15am

Just put him on a string.  Who knows what actually went on. 

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 9:33am

Yes, I believe it because it happened to me 3 or 4 times in my life. I actually did something right in that regard, and never gave them the time of day. The topper was a guy who broke up with me, and after 4 months I got a text from him that said, "I know that you probably hate my guts, but do you ever miss me?" At that point, the "hating" rose by 100%.  Foot in Mouth

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 12:29pm

What I'm pretty sure is going on is that he's not dating anyone right now so probably thinking "hey, I remember her--she wasn't that bad, maybe she'd go out with me again."  but the thing is that if he was really crazy about me before, he would have kept asking me out.  I'm pretty sure if we went out again, he'd do the exact same thing--we'd go on a date, he'd say he'll call and then never call.  Honestly I just didn't like him that much in the first place so I really don't see any point in going out again.  There are a couple of guys who have caught my eye recently and even if I never go out with them, it makes me aware that this guy is not what I'm interested in.