Can't believe I am telling this story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Can't believe I am telling this story...
11
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 9:45am

I am mortified at my behavior recently and just looking for some support and hoping that you have had moments like mine. I was out at a club on the weekend with a friend of mine. In the past, we used to get pretty crazy when we would go out but our living situations are much different now than they were (we are both mothers). Anyway, after some dancing with some men on the dance floor all night, things escalated to them coming back to our place for some more drinks. I ended up sleeping with one of the guys - who is only 20 (i'm 29). Protection was used... sex was pretty good. The thing is, he stayed over the whole night and held me and didn't want to leave the next day. I was soooo embarrassed at my behavior that all I wanted was him to leave, and as soon as possible. He asked for my number once, but I pretended not to hear him. Then asked me to meet him again in a couple of weeks at the same bar. UGH! How could I do this to myself? Was the sex worth all of this?

The funny thing is, shouldn't this be the reaction of the guy? All they wanted was the sex, nothing else. I feel like such a fool. Anyone else ever had a one-nighter and sooo regretted it after? God I feel like a tramp.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 9:52am

It does sound like a wild night that you had!


But dont feel alone in how you are feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 10:26am

sbaryya826,

EVERYONE will tell you to live life with no regrets. You were sensible enough to use protection and you made no promises to him. It was nothing but a fling that you (hopefully) enjoyed. Most men would boast about what you did, not regret it. DON'T feel like a tramp.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 11:40am

I understand why you're feeling the way you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 12:08pm
I have made similar mistakes, too. Also, you have to be careful. A male acquaintance of mine (he used to frequent the same club I went to), took another man home with him one night, and was murdered by this young man. The man murdered him and his male roommate, both. So even though there were two of them versus him, somehow they didn't stand a chance. I found out about it, by seeing his picture in the newspaper, and I remembered his face & name from seeing him at the club all the time. I quit going to that club after that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 12:24pm
Ummmm.....did your children see this man staying over?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 3:45pm
ummmmm... nooooo. Both children were safetly with their grammie's. Please no judging... just trying to unload and listen to other peoples stories. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 4:19pm
I wasn't judging, I was asking. Believe me, you would know if I were taking a judgmental stance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 8:39pm
Well, what would you have said if they were home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2005
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 9:19am
If you want an honest opinion from a guy, I wish more women would let loose once in a while and do what you did. Why live in a constant state of repression? We're all human beings who have the base primal urge for sex. Let me also play pseudo-psychologist for a moment. Do you think that your reaction to the event took some of the enjoyment out of it? Is it possible that you reacted in such a way because societal mores say women who sleep with virtual strangers are sluts? What if you had woken up with a big smile on your face, happy and content from the fun you had the night before? Wouldn't that have been better than feeling guilty? As long as you used protection, which you did, I don't see why you feel that what you did was wrong...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 5:15pm

I agree. I apoligize because I know this was another person post. I am aggravated by what societal mores say a women should or should not do. Not just about sex either. I do feel that human beings have a need to connect or have sex. However I do understand that we are not animals and I feel that I am picky with who I chose to connect with. I would only want to sleep with someone I connected or felt something for. I couldn’t ever enjoy being with a complete stranger. However I think guys are different, it seems as if men could sleep with someone they didn’t’ even like much. How is it that women tend to feel cheap and but men don’t? Don’t men ever feel cheap? Or maybe I am the only women that feels this way. LOL

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