Cell Phone Etiquette

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Cell Phone Etiquette
11
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 9:40am

Last night I called five people. Guess how many answered? None! Guess how many called back? One! Why do people even have cell phones if they're not going to answer them? I don't get it.

I have a friend named Julie. She calls me her BFF and I'm the Godmother of her little girl. We have been close friends for years. She does one thing that infuriates me - she doesn't answer her cell phone. One time she invited me over to her house for dinner. I call to ask if she needs anything - chips, whatever. I'm on my way, going by a grocery store, might as well stop on my way, right? She doesn't answer. I leave a message, hoping she'll call right back before I am too far away from said grocery store. She doesn't call back and when I get to her house she's in her kitchen, cell phone on the counter right behind her, and guess what "yeah that would be great - can ya get some chips?" WTF? So I have to leave her house and drive BACK to the grocery store.

4th of July she and her mom are going to come over and see my new place after the parade. I call around 11 am (parade around half way over). Don't leave a message. Noon the parade is over. I call again, left a message asking if they were coming or not because I need to go to the grocery store cuz I'm starving, blah blah blah. 1 pm - no return call and now I'm really hungry. I call her AGAIN and say I'm going to the grocery store and I'll be right back in case you guys are coming over. Never heard from her that whole day until I see two missed calls on my phone that night - 7 pm and 9 pm. I was out on a pontoon on the lake, watching fireworks. Did not have my phone with me. I would have called back but it was 11 pm and she left no message so I never did call her back. I call her last night and of course, get her voicemail again. I left a message saying "what a surprise - got your voicemail again - talk to ya later." Yeah it was snotty and I don't care. I'm still pissed off today.

Am I outta line? My sister does the same dang thing. Can't ever get a hold of her. I swear it's a control issue or something.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:00am

I almost never am on my cell phone I have it mainly for emergencies and if I need to make calls long distance etc. But if someone called me I would check the messages and if you called and were on your way to my house obviously i'd call you back that is just plain rude. The fact that you called her several times and the phone was right next to her in the kitchen is beyond rude and then when you arrive and tell her you called several times to ask if she needed something and then she says YEAH go get chips. I would have said YEAH go get em yourself and walked out I can't believe she then had the gall to ask you to go out of your way to go get the chips after you called numerous times that was rude.

People get busy so I don't really stress out about the return call thing but it does seem deliberate if you are calling a few times to someones house that you are on the way too and the phone is sitting right next to them.

I also would find it incredibly rude if you called invited someone to your house for the holiday and then they said yes but didn't give you a time they would be there, then when you call to find out never return your numerous attempts to find out, at that point I would have left, I would have left a note on the door, with I've called 5 times, you never answered or returned my calls so I'm gone. Have a Happy 4th. It just sounds like you have an inconsiderate and self absorbed friend. Sorry

Hugs

Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:46am

I miss calls, but I almost always return them.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:58am

I also find it rude.

I have a really good friend who NEVER answers her phone--ever. Before cell phones, she never answered either. Personally I think it's a control issue, but she denies it. She's also always late. She denies that is a control issue as well. She does however admit to having ADD, which I do believe.

Here's the thing: I know this about her and I just factor it in. Sometimes I have lied to her about when a movie starts so that we won't be late.

Your friend will most likely always be this way about the phone. But I think you'd be within your rights to tell her very sincerely how not showing up or calling really hurts your feelings. You don't have to be sarcastic, just really let her know. There's no reason on this earth why a grown woman can't be courteous.

Hey, and don't be so accomodating when you're going to her house for dinner. I would no longer offer to go to the store on my way over. If you don't settle what you're bringing at the time of the invitation, I'd just show up, seriously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 11:43am
I admit, sometimes I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone (bad day at work, headache, tired, napping, etc.), so sometimes I let it go to voice mail...but if the person leaves a message and asks me to return the call, I do at my earliest convenience.

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 12:53pm
I don't call back unless someone leaves a message. If I simply have a missed call, I assume they were bored or whatever and just called to pass some time; chit-chat. I figure if they don't leave a message, it must have not been anything important. If they leave a message, however, I always make it a point to call them back, of course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 1:02pm

I will admit your friend seems a bit self absorbed and rude. That being said . . I can easily receive 50 or more calls in a days time. During work I NEVER interrupt a conversation with a flesh and blood person to answer my phone. (The only exception, if I KNOW what the call is for and that it cannot wait . .someone looking for directions, expected for the meeting I am already involved in and WE are waiting for word . . etc.) After work, if I am cooking, at dinner with someone or even just relaxing and enjoying some old movie or even answering email . . I silence the phone and take the friggen "leash" off for a while . . .even if the world ends . . I'll catch it on voice mail. (-: The problem with cell phones is people spend TO MUCH TIME answering them, all the wrong times and places! Having a phone with you does not obligate you to ignoring the people you are with, stopping what you are doing . .etc . .just to drop everything and engage a new conversation. THAT drives me crazy . . I hate when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone and there phone rings . .and that old "finger' goes in the air . . "just a minute please" . . .arhhh . . .how rude! I always want to just walk away.

As for your friend sending you BACK out for the chips . . I would have told your friend to take a flying . .. . . well you get it . . lol Just a price of not answering the phone. ((-:

I also do return calls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 1:41pm

Okay I have to comment on this because my friends and siblings have said the same things about me and my cell phone (that I never answer - why have it?)

The only reason I have a cell phone is for emergencies and to make calls while I'm at work (can't use the company phone). Otherwise, I don't use it. I never have been one who wants to talk on the phone. I figure if it's important, leave a message and I WILL call you back. (And I will too - I return calls.)

I also screen my calls while at home. Control thing? Eh - I don't see it that way. There are some people I don't want to talk to. And there are some days when, dangit, I don't want to talk to ANYone.

I will say, however, it was rude to have the cell phone sitting next to you and not answer it, and THEN say, when you show up "Oh yeah, chips would be good. Go get them." Yeah right. B**** YOU go get them!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 3:25pm

I wish I never went back for the chips. That was stupid...lol. Wonder why I did? Probably cuz I wanted them too...lol.

I do get being busy and not being in the mood to talk. But I don't usually use my phone to BS with people. It's usually to make plans or something surrounding those plans. The only time I call for just talking are my friends out on the west coast. The people here I can see on a regular basis. My hand goes to sleep if I'm on it very long anyway.

My friend was rude in both instances and I do believe it's her world and we're just living in it. And it's time for me to not be a part of that world as much anymore. She can whine and vent about her husband to someone else. I'm sure she talks about me too. She talks about EVERYONE even her mom who takes care of her daughter all day long. I think I have more issues with her than just her cell phone but that's the first most aggravating thing about her. And other people in my life. Just wondering if I was the only person on the planet who actually returns a phone call....lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 3:30pm

I might get carried away on the other end of cell phones . . necessary evil and I do feel "tied" to it sometimes . . .

I might have to agree . . the issue with your friend might extend beyond the phone. (-: She seems to understand the word "entitlement" just a little to well. ((-:

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 10:55pm

I don't always return phone calls... but then again, not many people have my cell number. If I'm on the way to Mr. Pooh's house, I'll call him to see if we need anything, or to double-check plans, or just to let him know I'm on my way.


Same with my mom. I call home to let her know I'm near the house, don't freak out when the door opens. She was mugged last year, so I do it out of courtesy.


Basically, though, my house is the dead zone - no cell service unless I contort myself, so anyone who calls my cell either leaves a voicemail and then calls the house or I call back on my land line.


But I don't let the thing rule my life.


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