The chase

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
The chase
41
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:10pm

Elwood inspired this post, although it's something I've been thinking of for the past week or so.


Most of us seem to be in agreement that men like to chase.

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:24pm

When I talk with a woman for "a very long time" then I think she is interested (and me too if I talk that long). He said he wants to meet and I assume you made positive noises about meeting so the groundwork has been laid hasn't it? So it seems to me that the chase is for him to follow up after that initial conversation.

Mark

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:34pm
I'm with Mark, surely you gave off a good positive vibe when he mentioned getting together. I think he'll call, don't you? Having your niece up is a valid excuse to reschedule. I'm sure he'll understand. Can the two of you work in a date between your niece leaving and your going out of town?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:40pm

See, that's what I would think too.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:44pm

I've thought lots of guys would call that didn't!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 3:20pm

I would just let him know "I am looking forward to getting together soon but the next couple of weeks are very hectic for me" and mention that you have company coming in. Maybe you guys can just get together for a quick coffee or something initially?

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Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 3:31pm

**He doesn't know this, though. He knows I teach and have tons of free time in the summer, so I'm guessing he's counting on me being free whenever he is.**

Ok, this is where I am a freekazoid. (-: Why would it be bad to give him a quick buzz, or I assume you still have his email? And just say FYI, this is my schedule over the next two weeks. Mark, would that bother you? I would enjoy the call, interest and concern. (-: But then again hanging you but in the wind to me . . . takes big old brass ones. (((-: It is easy to hide behind the "dance" and just wander what might have happened. (-:

If he was genuine about his interest, I don't think this would scare him a bit, you are a busy woman and your time is scarce and important. If he was full of it, what difference does it make anyway, cut to the chase. (-: My style. (-: And frankly, my experience tells me you cant hold back and expect spectacular results. And yep, get it wrong, those knees get bloody. But that is living life, isn't it?

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 3:36pm

I am one who needs to be hit over the head *grin* I am always surprised to hear much later how the woman was really into me and I did not pick up on it. I usually think that she is just being very nice since she is such a nice person in general and that I was "no one special."

Then there are those I scare away when I come on too strong, too fast when I get a tiny bit of encouraging signals LOL.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 4:07pm

>>I usually think that she is just being very nice since she is such a nice person in general and that I was "no one special."<<

Yeesh. Ok - when a woman says "yes, I'd like to meet" - she wants to meet. I've had this happen with so many guys - he asks me if I'd like to "go out sometime", I say yes and then he never follows up. Maybe this is the reason.

So, when you say you need to be hit over the head, what does that mean? Saying "yes, I'd like to go out with you" isn't enough?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 4:12pm

>> Fast forward to now, and I really don't have the opportunity to do any of those things. I don't have repeated exposure to a guy just to LET him know I'm interested. I guess my question is how do you do all of those things I used to do, without actually doing them? How do you, as a woman, show interest quickly, without chasing? <<

I really hope someone answers this question. I have the same problem, and I know both you and I take awhile to get to know people. A short e-mail exchange or phone call isn't enough for someone to know you, nor is it long enough to really show interest.

I do believe women need to make it known that they are available and interested, but the HOW - especially where e-mail and fast-food dating is concerned - is the hard part. I'm terrible at it.

If all the men are out there convincing themselves that we're not interested, without taking the time to find out, then we're sunk.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl_shywon
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 4:29pm

I really hope someone does, too.

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