The chase
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The chase
| Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:10pm |
Elwood inspired this post, although it's something I've been thinking of for the past week or so.
Most of us seem to be in agreement that men like to chase.

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He was walking on eggshells.
I can...if he calls to actually set up the date!
****It only took one like that for me to be really cautious.*****
I usually don’t kiss on the first date, (really kiss) . . frankly unless it is really, really obvious she wants me too . . I try hard to wait for the third date . . I accutually know people need time to catch up. (-: I ‘ll have to fighure out where I read it . . .but first impressions are right 90% of the time . . something like that? You teach, what is the rule with first instinct on a test? Never go back and change an answer . . .second guess. (-: I can’t pick a movie, but I can make life altering desishions without batting an eye. That abailty also I think happed while I was in the service.
OK, so fast crashed and burned . . so has slow, right? And it hurt more because for a while it felt better. I would not trade a moment of my time with my ex . . she was great. I in hind sight I see it had to go this way. But it was one of the happiest times of my life. I’ll take the pain I felt in exchange this time. I learned a lot about myself and what a relationship can be from her. Im sure she is happy to be out, but I am also sure she has no regrets ither. Great things often do hurt. )-;
I see a relationship kind of like . . she is totally her, I am totally me . . we love some of that, hate some of that . . compramise on a bunch of things . . things we can live with and remain our selfs . . the deal breakers are when you have to begin to chage “for” each other and comramise “who you are”. . The one that goes the distance, you work, struggle, compramise . . you just are fouttonate enough not to hit that “deal breaker” . . kid . . I see no safe road to that point . . it is a day by day discovery and wont be answered in a day, a week, a month . . or a year or even ten or twenty . . on what day does that “deal breaker” show itself? You just DO it one day at a time. (-: So what difference does it matter if I trust my gut early rather than late? (-: In the end it leads down the same path. I see nither saftey or danger in trusting myself and my instencts at all. All the caution in the world wont protect you, and very well may cost you. I just go with what I feel. (-: I do look very hard as well, I am not a fool or fool harty . . if I smell a faker . . (-: I look for direct honest woman. I get it wrong too. We all do. (-:
You are right- slow has crashed and burned as well.
He will. And if he doesn’t, call him. And . . 2 ½ hours . . do the phone date idea . . say it however, just suggest that it would be nice to talk some while waiting. And frankly, could even risk a call . . going out of town, what does lunch look like tomorrow. (-: See . . .I don’t know how you girls do it with the do not call rules. Lol I just call. (-:
I will tell you what I would tell my best friend . . don’t worry . . if it is meant to be it will be, don’t pump it up to the point it has no place to go but down. (-:
Stay cooool you
>>I ask challenging scary questions sometimes. <<
This is where you would get resistance from me. I don't want to share everything, especially more personal things, with someone I haven't even met yet or have only known a short while. The trust isn't there, and asking the scary questions doesn't build trust with me. I am more than happy to share deeply personal things once I get to know someone better.
Invading my personal space with non-threatening touches is totally fine.
For me, breaking the two-foot rule is hard sometimes because of location. I met one guy at a bar for a drink and we sat at a tall table - the table was fairly wide and we were sitting on opposite sides (his fault, not mine - I sat down first and thought he'd choose the seat next to me). I would have had to stand up and walk around the table to break the barrier. I got the feeling he put the barrier there on purpose and I wasn't about to be that bold.
I did give him a hug when we said goodnight, but even that felt weird. It always feels weird when I do it. It is so much better when the guy does it. Not that it's a rule for me, and it's not that I won't touch him or hug him, but to me it's a sure sign of interest from a guy if he does it first. Oh, and this guy was the one who kept saying he'd call and never did. He ghosted after that.
It's funny - like Shy, I was much better at breaking those physical barriers and flirting when I was in college. Something about the atmosphere and knowing the guy - even if it was just through friends - made it much easier. Meeting a near-stranger out somewhere in public, as opposed to those college house parties, for example, puts an extra pressure on things that makes it difficult.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I don't want to share everything, especially more personal things, with someone I haven't even met yet or have only known a short while. The trust isn't there, and asking the scary questions doesn't build trust with me.
*****************
Well, allow me to remind you "I" have been asking for a lot of advise and opinions lately . . .(-: It's not like I have some deep understanding of dating. (-: What I do know, if I am looking at a "wall" . . I cant see the "person" . . so I am quick and fearless to go after those walls . . not so much deep and personal . . but personal I think. Might be something you say, just a hint of something . .and I will stop you and say, tell me more about that . .And TG, the idea is not to bull doze ALL the walls, just drop one or two low enough to see over . . .if that is comfortable . . .the rest takes care of it self. (How many times have I said that now?) ((-: Core vale. Don't force life, live it.
I pay a great deal of attention to your posts . . you think not so unlike me, your smart, way ahead of me in life, forget when I was in my early 30's . . . I just hope some of what I say clicks in some way you might apply something to your own style, or even see a good man in a different light. (-: Give you a little hope next time you look around a room. ((-:
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