Cheating ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Cheating ???
6
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:45am
I have a question that has been on my mind. What do you think of people who cheat with others who are married? Meaning, the person in single, but he or she decides to sleep with somebody who is married. What does that say about a person in general?? To me, I would never do it, because I would never want it done to me. But I have known people who have had sex with married people. What does this say about their character?? I have always said that I would never be with somebody who has cheated or with somebody who was the one the person cheated with.... Is this unfair? Maybe people change??
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: kcole68
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:20pm

I'll speak for myself on this one... I would never sleep with or have a relationship with a married man. Not only do I think it's morally wrong, but I think it's just asking for trouble for a few reasons: he wouldn't be likely to leave his wife for me; if he did, what's to stop him from cheating on me like he did on her?; and I would feel horrible for doing that to another woman - I could never feel good about that.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
In reply to: kcole68
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:52pm
I have never understood the men and women that fool around with a married person. So many of them think that person will leave their spouse. I would never be able to trust a person as fully as I would want to trust my wife if I knew she had cheated on her husband with me. I simply don't understand the thought processes of some people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
In reply to: kcole68
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:01pm
I guess this isn't something I feel I can be judgmental on. Everyone does things others wouldn't do... and each and every one of us have faults. I guess we have to decide if we can look on others with forgiveness and compassion or not. Interesting topic and very controversial... good for you kcole68.


Edited 2/15/2006 2:43 pm ET by iwillbthere4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: kcole68
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:31pm

I completely agree.

And, I do judge people based on decisions like this. This kind of behavior (assuming they know the person is married) reveals a lot about character, in my opinion. If they are willing to be this wreckless with something like marriage and "love", I wouldn't be eager to trust them as a friend, confidant, etc. It's wrong on so many levels.

I also think people can change their ways. Would it ever make me want to be with them? Probably not. But I would respect them for realizing their behavior was wrong and trying to rectify a bad situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: kcole68
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 8:48am

I think there are two kinds of cheaters. Those who are so miserable in their own lives that they'll compromise their morals to try to find a little happiness. These cheaters are the ones who are capable of regret, seeing the damage their actions caused, and changing their ways in the future. The second kind are the people who have lower morals and cheat because they don't care if they hurt other people. These cheaters are sorry they were caught not about what they did, pretend to accept blame but in the next breath try to blame their actions on everyone else, and will never change.

Well, obviously I wouldn't want to date the second kind of cheater. The first kind - maybe. They'd have to convince me that they were truly sorry and had learned from their mistake to become a better person now. Realistically, if I knew someone was a cheater, I'm not sure I could silence the voice of doubt in my head enough to be able to give him a chance.

-sang

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
In reply to: kcole68
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 9:51am
The second kind of cheater you mentioned are usually people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They are very destructive. They only think about themselves and what they can get and if it means having sex to get it, they will do it. They don't care who they hurt. I recently had a guy at work proposition me. He is married and has a child. I told him no and he had the nerve to ask why. I said "1: I wouldn't want your wife to come after me when she finds out. 2: I don't destroy families. 3: I am not that kind of person. I have better morals than that.".