Clingy Men

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Clingy Men
4
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 9:26pm

Hello! Maybe you gals can give me so good feedback on a problem I've been running into.

Okay, I'm 31, single, and have been out a lot lately. I go out with a fun girlfriend and I'm around lots of guys at the places we go and many of the guys are really nice and cute.

Well, the past three times we've been out, guys I have no interest in, physical or conversational, have come up to me, start talking, start touching me where they shouldn't and will not leave me alone! I try to give them polite hints I'm not interested but they will not let up. In the meantime, the cute guys I want to talk with do not approach me because some other guy is all over me, and I can't approach them because the guy clinging to me will not leave!

Finally, this Saturday night, I had a really drunk guy who wouldn't leave me alone. His teeth were black and yellow, and he told me was going to work on me until I gave him my number! I finally told him to back up and let me breath! This did work. But, again, his buddy was a normal, laid back guy and I couldn't even talk to him because black teeth kept on and on about wanting my number after he'd known me for five minutes! Ugh! So frustrating!

Does anyone else run into this and how do you handle it? I want to meet nice guys, but am having trouble with that because all the weirdos will not get away from me!

Thanks!

Michelle

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cmichelle75
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 11:18pm
Where are you hanging out? Perhaps you should encourage your friends to mix things up a little, try some new places. You also sound more polite than I. I would flat out tell the guy that I wasn't really interested in speaking to him any longer. This of course only if he wasn't catching the subtle hints such as, yawning, not looking in his direction, ignoring him. I would guess that some of these guys are too tipsy to take hints anyway so, being blunt would probably only amuse them, not tick them off.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cmichelle75
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 7:02am

I agree with Carla.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
In reply to: cmichelle75
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 8:47am

I don't allow people to hang all over me unless I want them too. And I'm not polite about it, nobody puts their hands on me without an invitation so if someone does they learn real quick to remove them.

Okay nothing grosses me out more than teeth I wouldn't have been able to even talk to the guy let alone look at him because it would have gagged me out and I would have literally gagged. Teeth are a huge pet peeve for me, if they are nasty I'm outta there.

I don't have a problem talking to people even if I'm not interested in dating them, I'm pretty outgoing but I don't allow people that I don't want in my personal space or to touch me and I'm pretty blunt about it. Maybe you just need to assert yourself a little sooner and stop trying to be so polite. You don't have to be rude and nasty and make a big scene but be strong and firm with your voice and make it known that behavior won't be tolerated a second time.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
In reply to: cmichelle75
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 12:58pm

Thanks for all the great advice! Yes, I am too nice for my own good at times and then I'll take and take and then finally blow up and cause a scene. So, the advice to be firm and not cause a scene is very good.

To answer one question, the places we hang out are very nice and a good crowd. I live in Florida right by the ocean, so it's a pretty clean cut crowd. But, you just get those guys that like I said, won't back off. It did feel good Saturday night when I told the one guy to let me breath. That actually worked and he left me alone the rest of the night. However, I think I did get a little too rude. So, I'll just have to put a stop to guys like that before the really make me go over the edge!

Michelle