co-worker is getting a little obessed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
co-worker is getting a little obessed
6
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 10:29am
hi,
i transfer to my job about nine months ago. im friends with everyone at work. i have a co-worker who seems to like me more than friends. his name is nick and he never had a gf before. he used to like another girl before i started working there, but she didnt like him in that way. she left the company before i started there. we became friends and than i started noticing that he's been doing a lot of things for me and u can notice that he like me. so i ended up asking him straight out if he like me n he's like yes. n he ask me if i like him back and i told him no only as friends. i just gotten out of relationship of four years n really didnt want a bf at the moment n im not interested in him. he's one of those guys where u no that u guys will always be friends and friends only. that was a month ago. he's been talking alot of me n it starting to get a little obessed. we both sometime work the same hours n he's been wanting to give me rides and go out for drinks. i've been going through a lot with my family cuz my dad pass away two months ago, my sister just had surgery to remove her overies, and my mom is ill at the moment. he wants to go on a date with me, not as friends but more and im like no. he ask me out again and i told him no. told him that i only want to be friends. so how do i deal with this? honestly i told him the truth and i figure if i avoid going out with him for drinks will give him the hint that im not interested in him. we can be friends, but nothing more. so could someone help me out please. thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 10:56am
I would clearly state one more time to him under no uncertain terms (no trying to spare his feelings right out with it) that you are not interested in a romantic relationship with him and to please respect that and to stop asking you out. If he asks you out again, go to HR and report him, tell HR that you have repeatedly told him that you are not interested in a romantic relationship with him and that you've told him to stop asking you out and that now he's making you feel uncomfortable.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 11:01am

Hey sorry to hear you have an obessed co-worker. I hate to sound rude or anything, but couldn't you tell your boss or someone with authority what's going on? I would tell him that I'm into him and nor anytime soon, but he's a nice person and he would make someone else very happy and right now you're not that person who wants to be happy with him! I hope that helps and I'm sure some of the other members will have something to say.


Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 11:46am

I completely agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:00pm
well, this is the odd part. he doesnt say anything to me at work. but when we are out of work he'll talk to me. probably cuz hes shy or so. but the other thing is that right now im in the training for support management at work. plus my other co worker told me to tell him that eventually i'll b his boss that it wouldnt work out. thats one reason y i havent mention anything to authorities about it. n i've explain to him that evenutally he'll find someone, but he keeps saying that im the one he wants to date. im like there is plenty of fish out there, but he doesnt want to look. so i dunno wat else to do other than keep telling him no n try to remain being friends or telling him that i hook back up with my ex. i just hope it doesnt come to the point of me having to transfer out of my work place into another job. thanks for the info.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 4:08pm
I agree with the others, you have to be VERY straight with this guy and not really care about hurting his feelings. Personally he seems a tad creepy to me, especially that he's supposedly so fixated on you and won't talk to you at work. Too bad if you're the one he wants to date, he can't always get his way! It's a two-way street, what did he expect you to do, change your mind?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 8:31pm

I would tell someone before you up grade him to stocker if you likes you that much and befor eyou become his boss. Just a thought, but you never know!