Colonic Crisis

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Colonic Crisis
13
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 11:55pm

I keep reflecting on your good and wise advice about how Mr Hot n Cold only wants me for a FWB.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 1:00pm

Thanks for posting the link. I have checked it out. Very useful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 10:56pm

Well, Mark, case in point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 9:45pm

I kind of understand where you are coming from because when I married 2nd DH I knew it was a mistake & wouldn't last but I did it anyway cause I couldn't figure out how to get out of the situation (where he was already living w/ me and had bought 1/2 of my house).

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 6:54pm
I can understand your feeling of futility after putting so much time, effort, money and a variety of ways to make changes. I wonder when you stated in your original post that you need to make some changes in your life what would those changes be?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 6:46pm

So if you know you are walking into a bad situation there must be a reason you are doing it??

I dont know but for me I know when I am walking into a bad situation and then because I have had so much drama in my life to last me a million years I run run and run in the opposite direction.

Maybe you havent had enough of a bad thing (just saying)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 6:20pm

It seems rather futile, frankly, to try to change one's childhood warps and misfires.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 4:50pm

Another John Bradshaw book that is exceptional is "Bradshaw: On the Family." As I recall, the book focuses mostly on how addiction affects families, but even if one of your parents was not an addict, it's still an incredible book about family dysfunction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 1:25pm

I have read some parts of that book. Harville talks about why we attract people that we do. Its about mirroring and what we lived as kids and how our family treated us we tend to gravitate towards the same type of people.

Its not so hard to figure out but yes awareness is key and to want to make changes is crucial.. One has to work on themselves and look in the mirror and go on a soul searching journey and fix it.. Although we have setbacks and its so ingrained in our psyche that its hard to overcome..but it can be done with hard work.

I always tell my friend. we might attract good people and bad people but its up to us to be able to know who is good and who is bad for us..
I think I know and some days I feel its too late..

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 12:59pm

I like Harville Hendrix's book Getting the Love You Want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 12:21pm

For the last few weeks, I've been reading "Healing the shame that binds you" by Bradshaw. I think it's stirring up a lot of things.

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