Commitment? no way!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Commitment? no way!!
2
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 7:00pm
Hi Everyone!

I posted a while ago about a situation with my friend Carl and I. He and I have become great friends lately with the understanding that I only want friendship. He openly has told me he cares for me romantically and expressed that he wants friendship if that`s all I am ready for.

The thing now is, I am beginning to *GASP* like him very much. I do not want a relationship however, which is why I`m not only confused but I feel extremely guilty. Everyone tells me to distance myself from him for a while until these feelings pass,.. but I refuse to let go of such an amazing friendship because I`m confused.

I dont think I could be committed in a relatonship right now with him so why the heck am I feeling so strongly towards him?!! AHHH!! Is it possible for 2 people to be best friends even if they both feel strongly for one another? I think I`m just looking for some reassurance that a friendship is possible regardless of the feelings we both have.

Thanks for listening to me whine! eheheh

- Athalia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 7:38pm
I can't remember your previous post but I gotta say I am mighty curious why you can't have a r/ship...lol. Look at it this way, can you handle him dating and having feelings for other women? Because if he wants a r/ship and you don't - then its not fair to ask him to wait for you if/when you decide you want that. If the answer is yes...then continue to be his friend and make sure he is not waiting. If the answer is no...then you do need to distance yourself. Good luck, whatever you decide! Go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 10:01am
Thankz for replying

I don`t want a relationship because I don`t believe I could commit to him and I don`t see it as fair to have him devote himself to me if I can`t give my all right now. I`m enjoying being single - he knows this...he told me no matter what I feel he is going to feel the same way he does now - I never asked him to wait for me...he said he was going to do that no matter what.

Im very confused. I found myself wondering if he loved me last night - that isnt normal!! ahahah

- Athalia