Confrontation

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Confrontation
9
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 9:28pm

I have a meeting tomorrow morning with the administrator who told me I can't work my extra duty job at the football games anymore because I was "rude" to another administrator.  He has never told me who it was I apparently said the rude thing to, or what it was I said.  He also went about it in a very unprofessional manner.  They discussed the game in a meeting, and then he emailed me saying I wasn't needed.  No explanation given until I asked.  He ignored my emails asking what I did, then ignored my email asking for a meeting.  Tomorrow will be a week and a half since he first "fired" me. 

I'm scared.  I am NOT a confrontational person at all.  He isn't my principal, and I've probably spoken to him five times in my whole life.  He's about 6'5" (I'm 5'3") and never smiles.  Never.  I'm not even sure of what I'm going to say to him exactly, except I want to ask him if he treated me the way he would have liked to be treated in the same situation.  I've worked this job for ten years without incident and in the snow, rain, and sleet.  I've dealt with kids being rude and calling me names.  I've dealt with parents mad because they have to pay to get in.  I've always been on time and always done what I've been asked. 

I have a feeling I'm going to be a little pukey feeling in the morning.  But I've decided that I've let too  many of these things slide in my life.  I'm tired of people treating others badly and getting away with it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shywon
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:38pm

I think you should prepare what you are going to say, which is a summary of what you did here.  I think you should focus on the fact that you have done this job with no complaints for 10 yrs and you don't recalal being rude to anyone and it would be very unfair to fire you for something when you haven't been told what you allegedly did so you could defend yourself.  Good luck.

I'm getting tired of people too.  I have a divorce client that I might have *accidentally* called sleazy (I think I just told him the judge could think that of him) because his DW just got in a serious car accident and all he can think of is would he be entitled to some of the money if she sued the guy who hit her?  My boss mentioned this to me today cause apparently the guy called him at 10:00 last night drunk & told him this.  I said if we were lucky, maybe he would go somewhere else.  The guy isn't paying because my boss is an idiot & told him he would do it for free (or maybe charge him later) because he didn't think the case would be that hard!  He was so wrong--they are the kind of couple who want to fight about everthing.  I'm surprised they aren't arguing about who gets the TVs and the dishes.  Oh & he informed me they are still having sex while they are fighting about all their money.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 10:48am
Just saw this . . . how did it go? Well, I hope!

If I have unease with a person or a situation, I can't avoid it. I have to face it, figure out what's going on and try to work through it. I've always been that way. It will eat me up from the inside out if I allow it to fester or leave a situation unresolved.

Again, hope it went well(I'm sure it did).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 1:52pm

Good for you!! You do what you need to do to rectify this situation.Standing up for yourself is thebest thing anyone can do for themselves even if it doesn't come out the way you want it to be.I was tired too of people walking all over me and thinking they can get away with you.

Good luck! :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 4:22pm

Oh shy, how did it go?

I know you also mentioned that there was another woman who you thought may have been mixed up with you.

I really hope it went well!  

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 4:59pm
It went okay. Not exactly the outcome I wanted. He said he'd talk to the woman and "maybe next year" I could work again. I really think he realized very quickly that he was being ridiculous and then was too proud to back down and admit his mistake. Either that or he's sleeping with the other admin. I wouldn't be surprised. Essentially he's punishing me for having an opinion that everyone held. Everyone just thinks it's completely stupid.

I'm now contemplating whether I need to either call my union rep just to fill her in on the situation in case it isn't resolved and I don't get to work next year, or possibly talk to my superintendent for that same reason. There's one game left this year and there isn't any reason why I shouldn't be working it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 8:40pm

Talk to the union rep, then on their recommendation talk to the superintendent.

 

If you did something wrong you would own it - I don't know all the deets but it sounds completely wrong.   We have a union for a reason.  Just saying

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 9:10pm

HS football season is almost over?  Already?  Wow.

Something about this seems fishy.  I don't know exactly what you said, but something tells me it didn't warrant being fired from this post.  I would not let it go, that's just me. 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 9:59pm
It didn't. I was just irritated because I thought we were almost done, and then was told we had to do it all over because of a new policy. I let out a sigh, in exasperation, and probably said something about being almost done and having to start all over. Nothing a normal person wouldn't be upset about. I told him I felt like I was treated unfairly and was being singled out. The admin who said I was rude was also very short with us, and I told him that. His response was, "That probably trickled down from me." No comment about her being rude. I also asked him if he treated me the way he would have liked to be treated and he talked around the question. Sounds like a guilty conscience to me.

I think I'm going to call my union rep and see what they say. I pay enough in dues, I should use them.

If anyone ever questions why teachers have tenure, this is exactly why. If he had had to go through a process to fire me, he couldn't have done it. But because it's not a contracted position, not part of my tenure, one person's issue means I'm gone without real cause.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 11:12am

What happened to written warnings or even a verbal reprimand?  Not that you even deserved that, just sayin'.  Again, I wouldn't let it go if it were me.  It's odd that you've been doing this for so long, made one comment (that got back to the wrong person) and just like that, you're excused - no explanation no warning.  It doesn't make sense.  

It's interesting that you asked him if he'd appreciated being treated the same way.  I had an office manager once who was supposed to hold weekly staff meetings.  We'd have them like once per month(if that).  One morning, she wrote me up for not wearing knee-high stockings with my pantsuit.  When she wrote me up she made some remark about not wanting to do it, but having to because rules were rules and something about setting an example.  I replied:  "Like having weekly staff meetings?"  She then asked if I really wanted to come in an hour early once a week.  I don't even remember what I said but to this day, I'm so glad I called her out on her hypocrisy.  Even if it was over something that silly!