confused about convo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
confused about convo
4
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 8:05am

I've been talking to this guy I met recently that I like. Today he asked if I would ever hook up with him. I didn't give him a definite answer and tonight he wanted to come over, but I said no because I had a feeling he wanted something to happen. A mutual friend was telling me they were with some other friends earlier and they had been talking about sex and the guy basically said he didn't care that much about it. I got annoyed because he usually brings up sexual topics with me and I was wondering why he does this if he's supposedly not interested in it. I asked him about it and why he was more eager to come over after he asked about hooking up (I've been trying to spend some time with him as friends so we could get to know each other). He basically said he did just want to hang out (but what he had said about coming over was suggestive so I have a hard time believing that) and that he didn't know I felt that way about him before or else he would've spent time with me sooner. He had a point, so I just admitted that I do like him and he was just like, "Nice. I like that."

So, I have no idea what he meant by that. I think if he liked me he would just say so, but instead it seemed like he was saying that he likes the fact that I like him. So I'm good enough to hook up with, but he doesn't like me?? Does anybody have an opinion on this?

Before I started talking to him very much, our mutual friend would tell me about him and said he talked about wanting a good relationship and a family some day. I guess I'm just confused about what he wants. Whenever he talks to me it seems like he's not interested unless it's about sex, but if he's talking to our friend he acts like it's not a big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 9:28am
Men are a pain in the arse.! its sad and none of us woman want to admit it, but 99% ofthe time sex is all that they want/think about and want to talk about. Not saying men dont have good intentions too sometimes, its just they can't help themselves'. And yes its a sad fact but i guess we have to except it.. It sounds to me, that your in the same situation and query as i have been in so many times before. Your not mad about the guy, but you really like him, hes not mad about you yet(as its too early), but also really likes you. However, usually, with men really liking someone results in thoughts of that nature and they are already 5 steps ahead of us in the bedroom department.. or at least they act/talk like they want to be. Which as a result can only leave us ladies thinking, 'does he only want me for sex?!' If i was you, (which, trust me i have been on many previous occasions!), i would sit down and seriously think, ' do i want to continue this relationship into something further, do i see it as a longterm, successful relationship OR am i happy with just simply 'messing about'' because, if you are 5 steps ahead in emotional terms in this relationship and he is only or mainly only interesed in the bedroom department, it wil only leave you feeling used and upset. My advice would be to keep him going for a bit, stay in charge of how far you take things at this stage, and then if it does develop further talk to him about where the relationship is going. In my experience, suggestive 'hanging out' means excited male wanting fun with attractive company. lol. Hope it kind of helps, probally not, im just venting my same confusion and mild anger from such similar situations i have found myself in in the past. Have fun and goodluck! Layxxx
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:16am

I don't think it's confusing at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 4:01am

Amy_Eff,

I agee with Cl-Shywon. There is nothing confusing about this situation. He obviously just wants to sleep with you. You just want to pretend that he wants more from you so you can entertain the idea of being in a relationship with him. Stop kidding yourself. He knows that you like him and he's taking advantage of your feelings and manipulating the situation for his own benefit. Don't let him. You need to ask yourself why you like him because he's not treating you with respect. Any man who wants to be in a relationship with a woman would not bring up topics of a sexual nature or be suggestive in any way.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2006
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 4:17am
Thanks everyone for your responses. :) I was just confused because he says different things to different people. I guess now I just have to think about whether I want the right guy or a guy for right now.