Its half an hour past my bedtime and I am no where near sleep. This eve, a guy from my past called and asked if we could go for a drink to talk tomm. Another guy, whom I lusted after for over a year - called to tell me he's ready for a r/ship. He wants it. I said, "well - good luck with that. I hope you find exactly what you are looking for." and he hung up on me. Could he really feel the same way I did (or do?)? Earlier, I ran into an old coworker I used to have a crush on. A couple of days ago, a bus driver I liked and dated. Two emails this week from more men from my past. Yet, I have dates with two new men this week. My head is spinning just typing this. I get a headache just thinking about all the dating. I hate it. Its draining/tiring and disappointing. I just want ONE guy. Thats all I need. All I want. And every one of these men from the past are guys I REALLY clicked with. I could have seen myself with any of them. I don't have enough time to pursue them all.
I can't help but think there is a lesson here - like "look at what you passed up" or "how did you screw up this many beginnings"? Why all at once like this?
My goodness. I think I will try to sleep on this...thanks for reading this if you got this far.