confusion...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
confusion...
2
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 4:16am

ooookay...where to begin? ive known this guy for about six months now. i met him at school, he lives in the same apartment as me. when we first met i had no clue that he was interested in me because he seemed very casual about everything...

i ended up dating this other guy from school who also happens to live in the building, and right when that happened, i never really heard much from this guy again. i later heard from a friend of his that the guy was pretty disappointed i was with the other guy bc apparently he was interested in me all along. well things didnt work out with the guy i was with, and right when it ended,i got a call from the current guy. i thought it was a little odd--figured he must have heard that we broke up, yet he said he had no clue we were even together that whole time (it was about a month and a half).

ever since he called me up that one night after it was over with the one guy, we have become good friends. i think we have an understanding of each other and just really enjoy each others company. in the beginning i wasnt sure if i felt more toward him, but now i realize that i do; im just so confused as to how he feels about me. i feel like im getting crazy mixed signals.

we usually spend time together a couple of times a week--going out with mutual friends or watching a movie etc. we seemed to get a lot closer starting back in december. once the new semester started and we were both back in school in february, we spent way more time together. there was this period of two weeks or so when we just seemed to really be getting closer. we spent two nights in a row together just talking to each other and getting to know each other more, and this is when i realized i was falling for him. he asked me to go out to eat with him and a friend late one night and that was nice too, getting to know one of his friends, and all that went well. he called me up on the weekends too to get together.

most recently, in the past two weeks or so, we havent been spending as much time together. i know its because we are both really busy with school, but we still try to make the time. i know that we have a friendship, but like i said, im just confused as to where this is going. his friend asked me a few weeks ago if i liked this guy as more than a friend, but i was afraid to admit it at the time. another friend of his asked me again shortly after this and i finally said 'yes, i like your friend.' and he said that he had a feeling this guy felt something more toward me as well. there are other little things too that happened a couple times in the past that made me think he is interested in more than friendship, for example--he put his arm around me a couple of times. this was after a few drinks though, so i completely brushed it off. also my roommate told me that she knew he felt something for me, but this was back in nov/dec.

i just wish i knew if he still feels something for me, if he is just waiting to know how i feel, if he just wants friendship, or what. part of me believes there is something more than friendship there bc i honestly dont believe that most guys care to be just friends with a girl if they are calling that often to hang out etc.

part of me is thinking maybe he is just trying to 'be cool' about everything. maybe he doesnt want to risk anything right now. maybe he doesnt want a relationship. maybe he just wants to get to know me better. maybe he is a lot smarter than me, because if things were to go sour with us right now, that would be horrible since we live in the same building (and he and i both know that that was really crappy for me in the end with the other guy i was dating). maybe he just doesnt want to risk putting his feelings out there, because like i said--there are some things that seem weird to me here and there--like about him saying he didnt know me and the other guy were together. i think that he did know, but he said he didnt to make it seem like he didnt care. maybe he just doesnt express himself well. i really dont know and im sick of analyzing it...

friends have told me to try the whole being flirty thing with him and touching his leg etc to see how he acts, but i feel like i will make things weird if i do. the other night when we were watching a movie i wanted more than anything to get closer to him, but i felt too awkward to get closer. i accidentally spilled some water on him later on that night and we kinda laughed about it and i touched his shoulder, but it wasnt really much to show my interest, and he was already on his way out the door. we dont even hug. we only have a couple of times in the past.

i forgot to mention that not too long ago, when some of his friends and some of my friends were altogether, they were kind of joking about the two of us, not directly--but implying that there were two people in that room who like each other, those two people, of course, being us. i was sort of embarassed and i could tell he was too. i dont know if its since this time that things seem a little more tense--maybe he feels awkward now, maybe he doesnt know i like him and maybe he feels like he was put on the spot and is embarassed. i really dont know, but i think about him all the time, and i just wish i could figure him out without directly asking him or making it awkward....any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
In reply to: skydiverzz
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 7:52am

Maybe he's thinking all the same things about you. Talk to him about it! I know easier said than done. With my most recent ex, I always had to bring that stuff up. Occasionally he would say something on his own to remind me of how he felt but usually it was after I brought it up first. Some people just don't express their emotions much.

Good Luck,
Trina

-*~*- Trina -*~*-

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: skydiverzz
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:50am
Who knows what he is thinking? You have to ask and find out. Moreover, since you are crazy about him, you have the right to ask. Even if he is not interested, he still needs to respect your right. Thus, no one should not feel awkward. But, since I don't know you guys, it is hard for me to suggest what exactly to do. Best of luck!