Could this be true for us all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Could this be true for us all?
44
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 8:14am

okay.. So the last few months I have been reconnecting with people on facebook.. I knew a guy from my old neighborhood (he is married and just a friend) Anyway; I told him that It would be nice if I met someone... Turns out he labels

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 9:52am

Yes and No.. I think it means live life the way you want and someone will walk into it somehow someway and be the guy for you ..

I asked this guy if that means I should get off of dating sites and he said no.. but just dont chase the men and let them come to you.. You know that makes sense cause when I am not OLD I get messages but as soon as I log on and search around I get none.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 2:20pm

Well, I have definitely had it with OLD, at least for the forseeable future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 3:45pm

I agree with you on many counts and it might not happen for us ..I was thinking though that last week when I was at the Medical Center my bp was high and the doctor wanted me to go to the emergency room and get it down. I said no I cant afford that and I walked out with meds and instructions.. Anyway; The point I am making is that those were one of the days that I would have liked to call my husband or boyfriend if I had one.. I really needed someone that day and there was no one around for me. It was scary and I dont like being alone when I am sick.. I was also thinking how nice it would be to have someone to talk to and share life with as life is so hard at times..and atleast when you have someone it makes the time a bit easier here on this sick planet. If atleast he was decent it would be so much nicer to have someone around..

As I age I just dont want to grow old alone if I do get the opportunity to grow old.. In my younger days I didnt care as much because it didnt bother me but like I said the aging process has made me think way different.

Lately I just think about a nice phone call from someone who cared and there are still alot of things I want to do and I dont want to do them alone anymore..

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 4:10pm
First of all, sorry for your recent medical issue. I thought though, that a hospital ER had to treat you whether you could afford it or not. But I suppose that's beside the point. I totally understand your frustration and longing. But I feel that when you are single "it takes a village." I think it's incumbent upon single people to build a network of friends and family to help them through difficulties. It's nice to fantasize about that wonderful husband who is going to be there for us through thick and thin, but in reality, you may need to rely on yourself and others for many years to come, or for many years if you become a widow after remarriage. And I think the line-up of people in your network can and will change over the years: that's just the way it is, unfortunately. I know that when we have difficulties in our lives that it can cause us to spiral down and wonder "Why the hell don't I have a man in my life, I must be a loser." I've been there. I also think that there are people who would be glad to help, if you'll only ask. It can be hard in our culture of "rugged individuals" to ask for help. Just last night, I called a married woman friend to help me pick up a small piece of furniture from a store to bring home (she has an SUV). She was more than happy to help, even brought her husband along. This is someone I used to work with and we get together a few times a year, but I wouldn't really describe us as "close." I think our culture also emphasizes the nuclear family way too much--there's just not enough inlcusion, we don't tend to get very involved in our communities. But again, I think it's up to single people to bridge this gap: it's the rare coupled-up friend who will even think about this even if she herself were single for a long time. (OT: I don't seem to have any text formatting features available--does anyone know why??)
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 4:41pm

Hehehhehehehehheee

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 5:03pm

I know what you are saying and I do have a network of people and that is great but it just doesnt seem to take the place of someone who would care about me and be there when I need them. Its not the same as getting a hug or being loved and all.I just so miss that and hope that I can have that maybe once again before I die (lol) Just something to get me by once in awhile (lol)

Anyway; Oh; If I had gone to the ER I would have gotten a bill that I couldnt pay.. Yes; they treat you but then they send you a bill.

thank you for the nice thoughts..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 5:31pm

Your points are well taken, and sure we all wish we a had a good, caring man around when things like this happen.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 6:41pm

Men feel the same way.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 9:30pm

I know men feel the same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 10:05pm

It's nice to think about having a network of friends who would be there for you if you got sick--I have read stories about women (who might have been married or single) who for example got cancer and all the friends pitched in to do things for her.