Crushes

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Crushes
6
Sun, 12-08-2013 - 4:39pm

I have a tiny crush on a married doctor at work.  I would never act on it in a million years.  I am trying to keep it under wraps but I wonder if I'm trying so hard that it's blatantly obvious to him as well as everyone else in the office.  The reason why is, his wife made a B-line for me at the Xmas party.  For what it's worth, I don't consider myself competition, even if I were the type of person to make a move which again, I'm not . . . I just wish I wasn't attracted to him.  Ugh.  I keep trying to focus on all of the negative things about him to psych myself out. 

How do you guys handle these types of situations?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 12-08-2013 - 5:07pm

I really doubt that if the dr's wife had never met you, she could tell w/in a few minutes that you have a crush on him.  If you have never done anything inappropriate in the office, I don't think he'd be going home & telling his wife that he thinks someone likes him, right?  I think if I have a crush on someone but I know it's not going anywhere, I just enjoy it.  I think we can recognize the attraction for what it is but not act on it.  I don't think you have to think of his negative qualities--you can still admire him and have a crush while not doing anything about it.  Hey, maybe it will improve your work.  Years ago I had a crush on my boss (who is still my boss) and at that time we were both single--the thing is that he never even knew it!  I told him years later when I was married and he said he was surprised.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Sun, 12-08-2013 - 10:58pm

I love accents too.  I have 2 foreign born female friends, one is from Ukraine and one is from Brazil and both have such cute accents that I love to listen to them.  I was at a dance with my Ukranian friend and this Asian guy (who is kind of nerdy and always says the oddest things) says to me "why do you have a Russian friend?"  I said "why not?  I am like the United Nations" like am I only supposed to have friends who are the same as me?  But the funniest thing is that there is a Brazilan restaurant near me (we have a big Brazilian community near here) and on Sunday nights they have dancing.  I can't understand the words to the music but I really like it and the dancing is very lively, so I was dancing with some guy and because the music was very loud & he had an accent anyway, I had no idea what he was saying, although I think he was asking for my number because I thought he said something like "telefono."  lol  I wasn't interested anyway.  

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 12-08-2013 - 11:42pm

I even love the different accents in the US.  Can't believe you passed on a hottie from Brazil . . . or maybe he wasn't a hottie hence the reason you passed ;)

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Mon, 12-09-2013 - 12:04am

Well, I'm extremely attracted to different ethnicities (I've always had an accent fetish) and it isn't just men - most of my friends are foreign. Anyway, he's Cuban, so on my first day he walks up and says something while my manager was showing me around. She mentioned something personal to me about him after he walked away and I said, "he's cute but I saw the wedding ring". They're friends so maybe she told him but in fairness, I probably shouldn't have made the comment in the first place ;)

       

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Mon, 12-09-2013 - 3:08pm

No he wasn't hot at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: cfk_3
Mon, 12-09-2013 - 3:19pm
There's nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. Just because someone is married doesn't mean they will never be attracted to other people. Crushes are bound to happen with people working together in close contact everyday. And often times we spend more hours of our day with people at work than our spouse at home. I myself had quite a crush on a guy I worked with at one time, but we were both married with kids (and I knew he felt the same way) but neither one of us would take it any further than being friendly co-workers.He ended up moving onto another job and we just sorta ended any contact with each other after that (which ended up being a good thing for both of us) Really, there's not much you can do to get rid of a crush on someone. Only thing you can do is not act on it, or separate yourself as much as possible from this other person.