Crying Again
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| Wed, 06-07-2006 - 7:27pm |
I literally have tears running downmy face right now and I'm trying my best to shake it off and act like this is no big deal. But here it is once again and it seems the sweet, adorable, nice guy I've been seeing for the past 2 months is losing interest in me.
We went from several emails a day and "how much do you miss me' and 'really looking forward to seeing you' to one email a day wishing me a good day. He asked when I'd have time to see hm this week and I gave him my available days twice and he vaguely dais a movie would be nice but has yet to pick a day. The flirty has stopped and he is only giving me very vague one-liner emails.
I just keep wondering why this keeps happening over and over. I meet a guy, he acts crazy about me, we have fun and within 9 weeks, he abruptly loses interest and it's back to the drawing board. And not, I have not have sex with any of them. I was sitting in traffic yesterday counting off the number of guys I've been on dates with in the 18 months I've been single; 21 guys! 21 guys and not one felt anything for me and saw potential in me!!!!
I realize many were wrong for me and perhaps I made some mistakes too but i'm just at a loss. I'm frustrated, shaken and ;left questioning myself. What is wrong with me? What am I doing that is repulsing these guys so? I don't know if I should give up completely or keep trying.
I'm just terribly confused.

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From my experience, when men talk like that, that you are: "too hot"; "too intelligent"; "too successful" "too....fill in with any word".....they are looking for a way out without having the cajones to tell you they want out or to cool things down. I'm not saying that this particular guy doesn't have issues or insecurities, but I don't believe it is our job to "help" them feel better about themselves, prove to a man he is "good enough" for me, etc.
Of course, at 45, I am much older than the OP, and have felt the way she does many, many times....heck even as recently as three years ago, a younger guy I was dating pulled this on me. I was in a dry spell, very discouraged, and met this man at a volunteer venue. Five years younger than me, very handsome, came on like gangbusters, only to fizzle out after one month. Normally, he was someone I wouldn't have dated. He was a different faith (Jewish vs. my Catholic),lived in a ramshackle old farmhouse owned by his sister's boss, didn't have a steady job but lived off his inheritance from his grandfather, and just kind of floated and flitted through life. To be honest, if I hadn't been horny and he hadn't been so cute and made such a dramatic pursuit of me, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. And I should have known better at my age. He said the same types of things...I was "too hot" "too educated" had my "act together". Yet, his actions roared that he DIDN'T respect or care for me.
But when we are lonely and wanting physical contact with someone, we sometimes make bad decisions and accept treatment that we shouldn't.
I really did learn alot from that. I will never accept that kind of treatment again. He basically just became less and less available and interested, was chronically late for dates and at least twice stood me up.
I'm not saying these guys have done the same to cl, but I thnk it's really important to devlop a thick skin and not give up too much of your heart until you really know you are on the same page with a guy. I really think when it's right, your gut will tell you. Otherwise, if you feel an uneasiness with someone, I believe it is your subconscious mind trying to warn you and protect you from hurt.
In any case, I hope I am wrong and this man is just stepping back to deal with some of his own stuff, and that things will go better for cl. I truly wish her the best.
Muire
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