Date anxiety

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Date anxiety
14
Thu, 03-21-2013 - 11:56am

So Saturday I am going on the first date I have been on in 1 1/2 yrs--kind of pathetic, I know.  At least I thin it's a date--more about that later.  In Feb. I met a guy at a dance.  We have mutual friends.  He didn't know anyone else at that dance & I knew a lot of people.  I introduced him around but he danced with me more than anyone.  At the end of the night, since we belong to the same group, I said something like "Oh, maybe I'll see you at an event" and he said "I have your number.  I'll call you" but I never thought he actually would.  We hugged goodnight.  the next 3 weekends in Feb. were snow storms.  So 3 weeks ago, he emailed me to ask me if I wanted to go to a dance on 3/23.  I said yes.  Didn't hear from him after that until last weekend, when he emailed me to remind me of the dance.  I didn't think about it that much during that time or at least tried not to, figuring he might forget, something might come up--it's so far away, try not to obssess about it.  Last night he emailed me again to give me the time & place.  Now I never expected him to pick me up at my house--if he suggested it, I'd say don't bother, because he lives about 45 mins. from me and going to where I live would be very out of his way.  I did write back asking how we are going to find each other & asking for his phone number--this is some kind of huge dance weekend at a hotel that is supposed to have 100's of people--I wonder if he knows that.  It's not like one dance in a little hall where you are certain to find each other.  He didn't offer to pay or say anything about it so I won't assume he is going to pay, so then I'm wondering if he considers it a romantic date or just friends getting together--I'll start off assuming more of friends since we don't really know each other too well anyway.  Maybe he just wants a dance partner.

I have been not thinking much about it all along but of course since last night, now I have anxiety over all of this.  My son had to go to school later today and I was thrilled to be able to sleep an hour later and I woke up about 5:00 am & couldn't get back to sleep and then my stomach is in a knot.  I'm sure I'll be fine once I'm there since he is a very friendly guy and we don't have to talk every minute since we'll be dancing anyway.  But I do not want to walk into this huge event & be hunting for him so he better respond.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 03-25-2013 - 6:51pm

It is so good to start out with a common interest.  Plus, he made a plan and followed through!  Glad you had a good time.  Keep us posted on your next outing!

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Mon, 03-25-2013 - 1:32pm

Excellent.. I'm happy things went well that evening for you!  It gives me hope in my old age, LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 03-25-2013 - 11:34am

As you know, even though a lot of my friends did meet their BFs on OLD, it never worked well for me.  I think it's good, if you enjoy doing something, to meet someone who already likes to do that same thing.  Dancing is my interest, but it could be anything.  I see some of my friends who meet guys who don't like to dance and then they have to convince the guy but since I met him at a dance, I don't have that problem--plus I found out he likes football, so he's my ideal man. :)

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 7:06pm

Yee-ha! And just think: you didn't meet him through online dating! Glad it went well.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 2:28pm
This is the third time I've tried to post in this thread. The first two didn't work...so I'm just gonna say....Yay!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 12:45pm

Awww, that sounds like so much fun.  I'm glad there was no awkwardness and you enjoyed yourself.  I have a feeling that you'll be seeing him again ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 12:19pm

Ok I had a GREAT time!  We ended up changing plans a little at the last minute which probably worked out better--we went to a bar where there was a live band.  I had heard this band before & knew they were good.  But because of that, he was early so we met at the mall & just had some coffee first which made me more nervous wondering if it would be difficult to find things to talk about--thankfully there were no awkward silences. I like a guy who holds up his end of the conversation.  I hadn't told him what I did for work before (he said "I don't remember what you do" and I said "that's cause I never told you").  Luckily he is not intimidated by lawyers cause he does some kind of insurance/financial planning stuff so he is always working with lawyers.  He was impressed by the fact that I like football (his words were "men love women who like football"--uh, I thought it would have paid off by now, but so far it hadn't).  We didn't make specific plans to go out again but he was talking about things in the future, like I said I sometimes had gone to this dance in RI and he said "well you could come to my house & then I could drive you" or I said I hadn't seen a certain movie and he said "I have the DVD so I could give it to you."  So there appears to be some interest--we will just have to see.  

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 5:36pm

Have fun, Music!  Let us know how it went ;)

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 3:32pm

Have fun... I'm sure it will be a blast!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 10:47am

Thanks guys for the positive thoughts.  We did email last night--I got his phone number and we agreed on a place to meet so I have much less anxiety today.  I do think a lot of it was just being worried about finding him with a lot of people around.  He sounds excited to go to this event so that helps too.  Plus we have a mutual friend so I texted her yesterday and told her about it and she said that he is very nice and loves to dance, so I know I will have fun whether it's an official date or not. 

My 17 yr old son was funny.  I always have to remind him when I am going out because he'll be like "why aren't you home cooking me dinner?" when I told him 10 times I won't be home.  So he says "don't go to the guy's house"  I said that isn't going to happen considering his lives quite far from where we are going, then he says "Ok, then don't go in a dark alley."  I said "I think I'm supposed to be giving you dating advice, not the other way around." 

I will give a report on Sunday.

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