Dating advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Dating advice
10
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 2:58pm

I've met a guy on OLD last July. He's a 39 y.o. single dad of a 15 y.o daughter, professional, nice and nice looking. He was the only one with whom I felt warm fuzzies. We were going to meet the week after our first date, but as Friday approached, he cancelled saying that plans had changed and he needs to pick up his daughter earlier than thought (no sorry) and lets meet next week.

Well, next week, I was already booked, not to mention that I was a little bit bugged by him not even apologizing, so I said that I can only meet the week after. He knows that I have a full custody of a young child and that I don't go out too often.

So he sent a long email entitled ''it shouldn't be that hard to meet'' saying that we should stop dating because he thinks that I'm still not over my ex (since I refused to talk about him on our 1st date), that he already had an experience with a woman like that and it was very difficult for him. He went on to saying that I was wonderful and that he's sure that I'll meet someone when my time comes.

I had to explain to him that it wasn't true and that I actually liked him and was really busy and gave him reasons. He said that he understood and that to him, there's nothing sexier than a woman who's also a good mother.

Anyhow, we had another date. It was fine. He called me in a few days to say hello, but my son was taking a bath, so after a short chat, I said that I was going to call him back. And I did. He didn't answer. I figured that he had caller ID since he relies on his cell and that I wasn't going to call and call until he answers.

And I haven't heard from him since...until last week.

He said that he knows that he didn't call in 2 months, and it's because he was busy. He already told me that he was starting a business and he mentionned it again. I said that I was busy myself and he suggested to call me back in 2 weeks.

Now, I'm not sure what to do. Everybody knows that not finding time to call in 2 months means that he's just not that into me. Business or not, I'm sure he would have found time to at least call. Not to mention that his behavior was a bit inconsistent.

My pride tells me that I shouldn't go on another date with him, but then I don't know if I am being too picky. Any advice ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 3:12pm
I think your inner voice is right. Its a clear indication that dating you is not that important, the nerve!
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 3:41pm
I judge people on their behavior. He cancelled on your first date without apology. He did not pick up or call back when you called after your son's bath. Two months go by and he contacts you. That does not sound like he is interested or his life is just too busy to have a relationship. Either way it sounds like a losing proposition.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 6:21pm

I had a similar situation.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 6:27pm
I think you should email him and title it "it shouldn't be that hard to pick up the phone" and remind him that you aren't someone to be tossed on the backburner and then resurrected when the main dish dumps him.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 7:57pm

Did you have fun on the dates?

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 9:40am

It's not being too picky not to go out with him again, that's taking good care of yourself. He sounds like a flake who only follows through

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 12:16pm

Thank you guys! Based on your advice, I decided to refuse and tell him why, but he didn't even call lol.

Music, I can't believe this man dissapeared on you again, I almost feel like saying that maybe he had complications with surgery, but remembering the ''He's not all that into you'' book, I would say that he's just WEIRD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 12:38pm

Is it surprising that he's 50 yrs old & never been married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 9:37pm

I agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 12:16pm
Dealing with both of these men is too dfficult and not worth the effort, you both deserve better men who are clearly into you and that you are into.