Dating again and not sure how to proceed

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Dating again and not sure how to proceed
1
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:06pm

So, about 3 months ago I got out of a 4.5 year relationship (i'm 28) and just went on a couple of dates with a guy I met on a trip (2 week trip with MBA program). He is nice and we get along well and I thought he was cute on the trip and still this he is. I just get all these doubts and I don't know if it is because it is too early for me to be dating. I am not really comparing him at all and I don't feel "guilty".

How can you tell if it just isn't working? How do you call it off if you all hang out together? We have had 1 date and tonight is the second. We have kissed and that went well. I just can't tell if there is that spark.

I haven't dated in 5 years and before that I was really bad at it too because I don't want to hurt feelings, I am picky, and blah blah blah.

Please offer advice.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:22pm

Everyone is different, but I can usually tell if there is chemistry present by the end of the second or third date. I'm not one to let things drag on so if it's not there, I tell them in the nicest possible way. I have had friendships to evolve where the romance left off while some of these endings have not been quite as pleasant. Hopefully, if you decide that there isn't that "spark", you will be able to keep the friendship in tact. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is the golden rule. Treat others as you would wish to be treated. It's pretty simple, really ; )

Good luck!