Dating breaks
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| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 4:30pm |
I have been on a self-imposed dating break this month because I was so stressed at work and with life in general, I just couldn't deal with the added stress of dating new people and the job-interview-like process that goes with it. My break will offically be over in March.
Here's the odd part -- while on this break, I've been feeling bummed that I don't have anyone actively pursuing me right now and asking me out. I'm feeling like I might have shut down all my options, and now maybe I won't have any options when I want them. Does that make sense? I don't know how to express that clearly. It's like I'm giving off a "don't ask me out" vibe.
My 31st birthday is in a few weeks, and I'm really feeling like time is winding down for me. Like there's some voice telling me that I won't ever get a date again now that I am officially into my 30s.
So, is my dating break the death of my dating life? Did the break kill any momentum I might have built up? What do I do to kick start my love life when my break is over?
Random musings. (The sex thread also made me think my sex life might be over, too). ;)

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so where are you meeting all these people that you need to take a break from? I hardly think a sex life would be over at 31
My problem is that i dont seem to meet anyone...why? Because i dont go out much. Why? Because i basically have no single friends to go out with. SO at 27 i feel like my life is over.
Most of my post was tongue in cheek - I really hope my sex and love life isn't over at 31 - and yours isn't over at 27. :) (Plenty of posters over that age here and on other boards prove that theory wrong)
In recent history, I met most of my dates online - Match, Craig's List, etc. I have met one or two through social and networking groups, and I have had one set up.
When I come out of this break, I am really hoping to not meet as many people online. It is just so tiring to meet people that way, and often disappointing. I guess with online dating, it created a bit of a glut of men for me -- but nobody really special. I was dating constantly, but not excited about anyone. Now, I'm not dating at all and I am feeling like there are no prospects.
So, I guess it comes down to quality over quantity. I'd love to have just ONE man pursuing me - with the hopes that he's one really great man with some potential. The trick is - where and how?
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I'm with Foolishheart- I don't know HOW to take a break from nothing!
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Maybe I should change that to "one guy who intends to catch me and keep me." :) I certainly am tired of men who enjoy the chase but can't handle the responsibility of a real relationship. Dating several people was fun, and good for me, for awhile after my LTR ended -- but now I really miss the comfort of having someone stable and permanent.
Lesley - you are probably right that the universe is helping me out with this break. It has been much needed. I guess this is an opportunity to practice patience. Always a difficult challenge for me.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
When I take these self-imposed breaks, I often doubt the wisdom of them. But it has never done anything but help my dating life because, once I get back into it, I have more energy. I think that it's natural to wonder if we are missing a chance but I think that you deserve to recharge your batteries and not beat yourself up about it.
And - as someone who is turning 33 in May - I think that dating is 100 times better now for a bunch of reasons that I don't have time to list out here. In a nutshell, it's more about quality than quantity now and I really like that.
*I guess this is an opportunity to practice patience. Always a difficult challenge for me.*
You and me, both. Relinquinshing all control (or even the idea that you have it) is one of the hardest things I try to do. Notice, I said "try" to do... hopefully someday I'll get to the point where I actually do it.
>>And - as someone who is turning 33 in May - I think that dating is 100 times better now for a bunch of reasons that I don't have time to list out here. <<
Here's hoping! Thanks for saying that, Jules. I am definitely seeking quality at this stage in my life, so maybe these little breaks help me gain a little bit of perspective about what I really want and need in my life.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
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