The Dating Gods Lend Hal A Helping Hand

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
The Dating Gods Lend Hal A Helping Hand
40
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 11:04am

So, who do I bump into in the supermarket again? Yes, you guessed it:-

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsinglelovi&msg=6445.1&ctx=128

We started chatting about different things and she finally asks me what my plans are. I told her I have a couple of weeks off work and didn’t have any plans. She then says, “Well send me a text or call if you want to do something”! She is off tomorrow (Saturday) and I said that I would definitely be in touch. Not only that, during the conversation we discovered her birthday is 1 day after mine and she suggested we should celebrate! It looks like this excessively long, arduous and infuriating story is finally coming to a conclusion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 2:35pm
Why don't you think it will be going anywhere? You have not given any details about what happened when you spent time together on Saturday. Is that because you are private or because you didn't really get together with her after all? : )
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 3:00pm

>or because you didn't really get together with her after all?

I should have taken photos to prove it.

Details:- We had a good day together. Nice lunch, good conversation and a walk along the beach, but nothing romantic happened. Later that evening (a few hours later at around 10pm) she sent a text thanking me for an "enjoyable" day (I thought that was a good sign) and I replied in kind. The next day I saw her at the gym and we talked a little. Later that evening (Sunday) I sent her a text suggesting we go out if she feels up to it and I got no reply, Nothing, Zippo, Zilch, Zero, Nought, etc

I'm not really confused. I just don't believe she is interested. I’ve never had to chase a woman after a first “date”. Actually, it would be more correct to say that from experience, if I need to chase it means they aren’t interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 3:37pm

>>Actually, it would be more correct to say that from experience, if I need to chase it means they aren’t interested.<<

I think that's only true after 3 or 4 dates. Continue chasing until you get to at least date three. She might also be wondering about your interest level, so it's best not to leave much to chance and just ask her out again.

CONGRATS on bringing this situation this far. :) I'm glad you had a nice day with her, and enjoy the next steps. Definitely don't write her off yet -- you've gotten this far. That would be a shame.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 3:40pm

>>Hey guys, *support* <<

Sometimes support comes in the form of a swift kick in the pants. All of my comments were good natured and I am genuinely rooting for Hal. I think we all just wanted to see him follow through on this, and he did. So, that's great! :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 11:27am

>She might also be wondering about your interest level
>so it's best not to leave much to chance and just ask
>her out again.

Let me see if I understand this correctly. I asked her out again but she COMPLETELY IGNORED me. But you think she may be confused about my interest level so I should try asking her out again? I don't think so. If she is confused then she needs to do something about it. I've done my bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 12:49pm

Sorry to butt in on this as a lurker, but I am wondering if maybe she had a problem with your asking her out via text msging. Maybe you should formally ask her out by calling her on the phone and actually speaking to her...?

Just a suggestion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 2:03pm

We arranged our first "date" completely by text in the space of 10 minutes and met 1hour later. Are you suggesting that this method is so unacceptable for a second date that it's worthy of contempt? Seriously?

I doubt it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 2:28pm
ARGH! I said this from very recent personal experience. You can't assume anything during these beginning stages -- both parties are sometimes wondering what the other one thinks.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 3:22pm
Hmmm.....I'm wondering if wannabeme is hal's mystery woman going incognitio to send a subliminal message....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 3:29pm
Well, I think "contempt" is too strong a word. The word "cowardly" comes to mind, though. I would give second thoughts to someone who only asked me out using text msgs. I mean, c'mon. Dates are personal. The whole conversation should be done either by phone or face-to-face. Texting is so impersonal. I would text someone I already knew; like a friend. Not for nothing, asking people out takes courage. I recently asked out a neighbor I've been crushing on for months. My heart started racing just thinking about it. I certainly wouldn't have texted him for the date. But maybe this is just me..... Just thought I'd share my opinion with you.