Dating Question

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Dating Question
10
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:12pm
I was reading Shy's thread about dating and started to wonder. Do you think guys, as a rule, only pursue girls who are actively dating? I forget where I heard this, but I heard once that men go after women who are being pursued by one or more men. I think that theory is supposed to link back to instinct in the wild or something.

I haven't dated in a few years. I have a group of single male friends and they are always going after another female friend who happens to date quite frequently. It doesn't bother me. I'm not interested in any of them, but they don't know that . . . I'm a big flirt, too. Especially, after a couple glasses of wine. She and I are almost the same build if that is of any importance. I'd say we're both equally attractive as well. I think she gives off a desperate vibe but I don't know if guys can pick up on that sort of thing.

Anyway, do any of you think that it's a valid theory? Girl + Suitors = Desirable?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:56pm

>Girl + Suitors = Desirable?<

That would definitely explain those dating feasts and famines. You know - you're single for months and months. You finally get a date that seems to be going well and suddenly there are men coming out of the wood work.

I still think it's an unconscious vibe that we give off. And it could also be a hormone we excrete - that's feasible I suppose.

We're (humans, I mean) definitely all still very primitive when you get right down to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:57pm

Sort of the same theory as women chasing men with wedding rings. When you know someone else wants something (or has something you don't), the value of that something goes up?

Interesting idea. Maybe that's why people always say it's either feast or famine - no dates or too many dates?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:58pm

>>That would definitely explain those dating feasts and famines.<<

LOL - we cross-posted the same thing at the same time. Great minds...

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:12pm
Vibes and hormones, very plausible. I never thought of the feast or famine thing, that kind of backs up the theory, I suppose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 8:29pm

>LOL - we cross-posted the same thing at the same time. Great minds...<

Hey! No fair stealing my ideas! ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 9:52pm
Not sure about the hormone thing . .LOL . . but vibe, yea. You are smiling more, more confident . .even shows in a lighter step in your walk I bet . . things that people pick up on.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:32pm

Maybe we should just all make up imaginary boyfriends, that way we can give off that vibe all the time.


Mine's name is.....hmmm...I need to think of a good imaginary boyfriend name.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:20am
A friend of mine and I made up boyfriends a couple of years ago. We were dating brothers. Her's was an attorney and mine, an architect. We would bring them up at parties. Mainly when there was an uncomfortable lull in conversation or, when someone else would start talking about their significant other. Yeah, we're weirdos. The funny thing was, one of our buddies thought he had met her imaginary boyfriend when we were all out one night. They sat and held I know a five or ten minute conversation about him. Him, who doesn't even exist.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cfk_3
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 9:32am

That's too funny!


I think mine would be a construction worker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
In reply to: cfk_3
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:05am

Funny!

Me, I'd probably pick a history professor as my imaginary boyfriend. I'm a librarian and history buff so it just seems to be a good match. (And I've actually had some good dates with gents in academe!)