Dating Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Dating Update
6
Wed, 08-13-2014 - 9:43pm

My initial post caused more of a stir than I intended, but I did want to thank those who provided thoughtful advice, and provide a quick update.

Aiden and I did have another weekend date together a week and a half ago.  I was pretty sure at that point that I was far more interested than he was.  We had a good time, but it just didn't feel like we were emotionally connected.  We've talked a few times since then, and it's been just like friends talking.  (We have known each other a long time, and have no trouble talking.) 

So I finally brought it up, and asked if he was still interested in dating, or wanted to go back to just being friends.  He admitted he wasn't feeling as strongly about me as he did in the beginning.  Part of that was the distance, but he felt that he would have been willing to overcome the distance if he felt more.  He was happy I brought it up, and we could talk about it.

I told him we'd definitely still be friends, but I need some space.  That shouldn't be hard since we do live 4 hours apart.  I just hid from from my newsfeed in Facebook, and don't plan on texting/calling him for at least a few months.  Maybe that sounds extreme for just a few dates, but I want to make sure my heart heals.  

I am sad that the feelings weren't mutual, but don't regret taking a chance.  In the meantime, I am continuing to settle into my new place.  I am going to a trivia event next week with Meetup, and trying a new yoga studio.  And of course, texting my friends who have been supportive.

And so the search continues.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 6:29pm

Well at least you're still friends.You're doing the right thing.

Now about Meetup.I did join that but only the sign up process..Can you tell me more info about that?I need to go out there an try to meet people.They're always e-mailing me new activities that are coming up..what's the deal on that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 10:11pm

The deal on Meetup is that when you see an event you like you sign up that you are going.  Normally they will have a leader there who is in charge of having a place for the group to meet (usually in the groups that I've belonged to, they send an email to the "yes" responders the night before with a place to meet and maybe a phone no.) and if the leader is good, he/she will go about introducing the new people to each other.  Is that basically what you wanted to know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-14-2014 - 10:12pm

The deal on Meetup is that when you see an event you like you sign up that you are going.  Normally they will have a leader there who is in charge of having a place for the group to meet (usually in the groups that I've belonged to, they send an email to the "yes" responders the night before with a place to meet and maybe a phone no.) and if the leader is good, he/she will go about introducing the new people to each other.  Is that basically what you wanted to know?

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 08-15-2014 - 8:21am

I'm sorry that it didn't work out.  Kudos for taking the bull by the horns though.  I don't think laying low for a few months is extreme, not when you really like someone and, not just anyone, but someone you've been friends with for a good while.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Sun, 08-17-2014 - 6:55pm

Music gave some great info on Meetup, but I wanted to add that sometimes you really need to spend time searching around for the groups that are the best fit.  There are some groups that are quite inactive so I would recommend looking for groups that have some meetups scheduled in the coming months.  Also, the bigger groups tend to have better turnout and are more established.  

If you do have any questions, reach out to the Organizers (you can email them through the site) and I have always found them to be quite helpful.  In my opinion, the hardest part of meeting a new group is taking a deep breath and walking in alone the first time - after that, it gets a lot easier!  I am meeting a new group Tuesday at a local bar, keeping my fingers crossed to find some nice people to chat with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2014
Fri, 08-22-2014 - 4:14am