Dating in your 30's, disadvantages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Dating in your 30's, disadvantages.
22
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 1:48pm

As this is a part of life's experience I skipped over completely . . .I am making an interesting observation or two. It might be easier for me being single at 46 than for you 30 something's. How bizarre is that?

In the 30's . . .like I was . . so many are married or otherwise attached.
The men who are left over, stuck in twenties? Stuck in neutral? Just not grown up yet. Successful men can still play the field, still "time" to settle down later.
You are at a "middle" age, target for 20 something's, 30 something's and 40 something's . . .and beyond . . (-: Exasperating nights out?
Men or women are not "quite" at that point that the dance is over and frank is in . . . your not talking to each other.
Mothers have "young" kids if devoiced, and men as well . . . noticed a few comments about how "undesirable" that was in a man, right there with old.
I am seeing it is not such an easy age to be single. I used to think I missed something important . . now I see it would have been no party or day at the beach.

Just to add context . .. those people married in their 30's are now the late 40's, and are now devoiced, have "grown" kids, have been in long relationships and the brutal devoice . .and talk with the frankness born of the life. Another twenty year mistake unthinkable. Not so many guessing games, for we understand it is in fact no game. (-: Woman are strong and at a peak in life, men are mostly grown up by now. I am starting to see my lot in life is not awful. (-:

Just thought among you this might be interesting to expand on. Always looks different looking from the outside in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 12:32pm

Wow. How nice it is to hear that from a man. I wish more men would take the time to do this -- appreciate what they have in the moment. (and more women, for that matter - a lot of people in general just don't appreciate what they have).

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Ahh . . go back to my nice/polite post . . lol. The "honest and sincere" side effects of this with her at least are part of why she left, or at least offered as as one of the reasons. How ironic is that? (-:

If you ever catch a man doing this, and . . you think him a keeper . . don't screw with it. Don't try to "adjust it or dial it in". Let imperfections in it live. This is something you feel to your core. You just feel what you feel. ((-: It cant be faked, you feel it, or you do not. Simple thing. Took time for me to understand what it was, but the feeling . . . . . .

OK . . all the guys are out there shopping for my skirt. LOL For the guys, just be sure that skirt has room for my 40 and we should be good. lol ((((((-:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 12:57pm
I find myself in the same situation. I am 32 and even though I look 25, as soon as I tell a guy my age I can tell he is totally turned off. I don't think I should have to hide my age either. Older guys have a lot of baggage or some still don't know what they want. They all say they want a mature, intelligent woman who knows what she wants, but they will give up all that for a girl in her 20s just for the thrill that they can still get someone that young. I ussually end up dating younger guys. It seems they have less issues with my age. With guys closer to my age, I feel somtimes that they are looking for a baby making machine that will still be young when they finally make up their mind, 5-10-20 years down the road to settle down.

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