at a dead end with family

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
at a dead end with family
23
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 7:48am
Sometimes I feel like all my parents and grandmother are doing are just waiting for me to get married and have kids already and that because i'm over 30 and still single, they sort of don't know what to say to me anymore. all of their friends are planning weddings, awaiting babies, talking about their grandkids, visiting their grandkids, and she has nothing to add. she even mentioned to me once that two of her friends talk and talk about their children and their children's spouses and grandkids and "she has nothing to add." After speaking with my mother recently it occurred to me that we just have nothing to talk about. Our conversations have gotten really short and the only thing that seems to interest her is gossip. When I bring up subjects outside of gossip, she sounds bored with the subject, changes it, or even if it has to do with an interesting news event she'll just say "that's too depressing I don't want to think about it," or "I don't care, it has nothing to do with my life." I get the feeling all she wants are grandchildren to talk about and she doesn't have them, so I've become someone who bores her. do any other singles out there feel like this has happened with their parents?
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 6:21pm

I don't normally respond to these posts, but this time I couldn't resist.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 6:24pm
I realized after I vented in my last post, that I didn't quite answer your issue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 8:02pm
We're biologically programmed to want to be mothers?



Yes.



Give me a break!




No.



I do not want children and never have.



I think you do.




Where do you get the idea that all (mainstream) women want children????



Through observation.






Edited 9/14/2007 8:52 pm ET by capegirardeau
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 8:54pm
Believe what you want. It's not worth arguing. You seem set on holding on to your misconceptions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:27pm

Women who do not want to be mothers are resisting nature. If you want to understand humans better, observe animals. Animals do what comes naturally, because unlike humans animals have (thankfully) not been subjected to social experiments like 'feminism'.

Ever known of a she-dog (well, bitch actually (in which case it may make sense)) who said, screw it, I don't want to have puppies ?





Edited 9/14/2007 9:33 pm ET by capegirardeau
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 10:26pm

Wise choice.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 12:24am

Your logic seems a little thin on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 2:07am
>>Ever known of a she-dog (well, bitch actually (in which case it may make sense)) who said, screw it, I don't want to have puppies ?



Oh come on....this is where the especially weak part comes in. Do you think any other animal BUT humans have a choice?? Without getting graphic on you, I'm pretty sure consent is not an issue in most sexual relations. ::eyeroll::



I keep forgetting what is meant to be funny, or at least tongue-in-cheek, should be punctuated with smiley's or it could be subject to misinterpretation. I am not saying you misinterpreted anything thing but you took it literally. That's the problem with written text. However when you add smileys you are also telling people it's meant to be funny, and then it no longer is. Tough. Anyway, whatever was there is certainly gone by now.



Yes you are right. There are exceptions to every rule. And when there are exceptions it's no longer a rule because an exception breaks the rule. I think some women have such negative perceptions of childbirth and child rearing, such as through the experiences of others, that this perception overrides their natural inclination to have children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:52am

That's kind of sad Nancy. Maybe you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mom and tell her that her view of you as an incubator upsets you and that speaking to you about anything in the world or anything that is important to you that doesn't involve dating or babies seems to be a big chore and why is that? Maybe she doesn't realize this is hurting you. Maybe if you break it down for her she will understand it better.

I'm so thankful I do not get pressure from my family I put enough pressure on myself I don't need it from them as well. My friend K goes through this too, I feel for you. HUGS!

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 4:12pm

>>Women who do not want to be mothers are resisting nature. If you want to understand humans better, observe animals. Animals do what comes naturally, because unlike humans animals have (thankfully) not been subjected to social experiments like 'feminism'.


Have you ever lived on a farm, Cape?

Brenna