Dealing with Datelessness

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Dealing with Datelessness
1
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 11:01am
I'm not sure anybody feels like talking about this but I'm curious if anybody's had similar issues.
I've never had a date. That's not to say I haven't been interested in guys. I have but the few I've really felt something for never felt that way about me. In fact, the couple who were most important to me were friends who sent mixed signals to me all the time, used me as a substitute girl-friend (without any benefits), and/or kicked me to the curb if/when I expressed interest in something more than friendship. We're not talking gentle set-down. It's more like being kicked the face even after the first, "I'm not that into you," sufficed. This just happened and I can't seem to pull myself out of feeling terrible. All of my friends, single or not, have had some kind of relationship at this point. I haven't. I dress nicely, am attractive, smart, and generally a good person. I don't talk about how unhappy I am about this subject all the time. It's just lately I've been feeling as though I'll always be by myself. I feel like if I open up again to a guy, all he's going to do is use and hurt me the same way all these other guys have. I just don't know.
So, my question is this: How do others deal with being a dateless wonder? Or, how does one figure out how to meet people who might not be like those in the past? Just curious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 5:55pm

1st - How old are you?

2nd - before i started dating my ex almost 2.5 yrs ago, i felt like no body liked me, i would never meet anyone, and i couldn't understand how my friends had all these boyfriends but I couldn't. I resigned myself to the fact that I would not have a guy, but you know what....I would make Damn sure i was wealthy! I would pour my money as much as i could into investments, making it work for me...i was going to travel the world, and make TONS of friends, so although i may be single - i'll never be alone truley, and i'll have friends all over the world, and I could be completely selfish.

then i found someone - i'm still convinced he is the one...but if not, i'm still young enough to find someone else. And think of it this way, everyone around 50 is getting divorced anyway, so if your that old, then your in the game anyway.