dealing with an ex
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| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 4:40pm |
hi,
I was wondering if anybody could give me some advice on dealing with my ex.
In brief: we split up in January but we carried on sleeping together until June which got really stressful because he would talk to me in private but not around other people. Since then he's made it clear that he doesn't want to be friends. This is something I can live with
EXCEPT
we are at a small college (about 90ppl in a year) so i meet him everywhere and we have lots of mutual friends so i have to watch him flirting and messing around with my friends (even those he barely knows). And all tht time he can hardly bring himself to talk to me beyond saying hello.
I keep swinging between wanting to have a go at him for his behaviour and thinking that it would make no difference. It's made worse by the fact that I remember how nce he can be when he puts his mind to it and how fun he can be to talk to,
should i try and talk to him or just leave it?
and does anybody have any advice about how to get some out of your life when they're still around every day?

"we split up in January but we carried on sleeping together until June which got really stressful because he would talk to me in private but not around other people. Since then he's made it clear that he doesn't want to be friends. This is something I can live with
EXCEPT
we are at a small college (about 90ppl in a year) so i meet him everywhere and we have lots of mutual friends so i have to watch him flirting and messing around with my friends (even those he barely knows). And all tht time he can hardly bring himself to talk to me beyond saying hello"...READ YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AND OBSERVE THEM THOUGHTFULLY....
Do you like being used? That's exactly what he's doing to you. IMO...he has no respect for you. You're good enough to sleep with and that's it. He doesn't even care enough to acknowledge your presence other than barely speaking to you around people, BUT when he's horny...he calls you. Having sex is an intimate act and if there is intimacy, there has to be feelings. It's up to you to decide if you feel you're worth more than what you're getting. How does it make you feel after you've had sex with him and afterwards, he's embarassed to acknowledge you yet he openly flirts with other girls around you...it's one thing if he says "we can date, but I don't want to be serious (that way you understand that you're not the only one and can decide if that's the type of relationship you want to be in), BUT he says he doesn't even want to be friends....THINK ABOUT YOUR SITUATION AND REALIZE YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU DESERVE BETTER...STOP BEING A "RELEASE DISPOSAL" FOR HIM.
I think the best thing to do is to move on and let it roll off your back.
Hi,
Thank you both for your advice. My life is pretty intense and closed so it's really good to see what it looks like to somebody on the outside! I'm gonna try and have a go at ignoring him and concetrating on myself instead.